Ride & Hostility Report

[LotteBum]

::When the alarm went off at 5:20 this morning, I said something alon
the lines of “Twennytosix” to my partner, who rolled over and let it g
for another twenty minutes. I spent these next twenty minutes on
rather hostile dream which involved assaulting someone who had cut m
off at the Springfield Parkway/Centenary Highway roundabout (thi
happens just about every morning, so I guess this is only natural).
jumped out of bed at 5:40 and told Paul about my dream, then asked hi
if he would come and visit me in jail if I did in fact assault someon
on my way to work. He tried to talk me out of it… :

:: :

::At 6am, I left… still dark… rather cold…. And the roads were we
because all the parks are irrigated early in the morning. I didn'
even come close to being cut off at said roundabout, so the urge t
assault was quickly overcome by sheer surprise that for once, no-on
had tried to kill me on that roundabout. I have a feeling this i
because there were actually no cars around.:

:: :

::My ride went on… it’s always relatively boring. I ride 13km before
get to a traffic light. Then I go through an industrial area which ca
be a little on the annoying side at night (scary). Of course, i
didn’t take long for someone to p!ss me off by turning left in front o
me and causing me to haul on the brakes fairly hard. “C0CKLUNCH!!!” wa
all I could muster up to scream at the (surprise, surprise) Commodor
utility. I hope he heard me. :

:: :

::About 10km from work, at Sherwood, I got passed by a man who didn’
really look all that fit and rode a mediocre bike. That CUT my prid
to bits. Soon after, I caught up with him after the Indooroopill
Bridge where another cyclists ran a red light straight in front of us.
To make sure the other cyclist (the one that cut my pride to bits
wasn’t about to do the same thing, I said “He must be really importan
to be running a red light like that”. Had a quick conversation abou
how other cyclists who run red lights in front of cars are jus
complete, utter fools. He then showed me a ‘shortcut’ which avoids
section of unusually busy (usually with Cayennes and Prados) bac
street through Indooroopilly. Heeeeey, nice short cut. NOT. Thi
shortcut was ah, rather steep. I made it up only to discover that i
was actually a significant short cut and one which I’ll more tha
likely use in future, despite the hill. :

::The bike path was chaotic, as always, with pedestrians walking out i
front of me regularly, sun in my eyes etc. (not a big fan of Brisban
bike paths). It wasn’t until I got to work that I realised I no longe
have toes. Or so it seems because I sure as hell can’t feel them. A
working on growing some new ones as we speak.:

:: :

::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather hostil
lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will b
visiting me in jail (and hopefully Tamyka and AH as well) because I’v
repeatedly smashed some man’s head into the road. My newspaper articl
will read::

:: :

::*Cyclist Assaults Innocent Elderly Man*:

:: :

::Police are appealing for witnesses to an apparently unprovoke
assault in Brisbane on Saturday during which an elderly man wa
viciously assaulted by a cyclist at a set of traffic lights…………. I
will go on to say that the man was ‘just driving along’ when th
cyclist attacked him and blah blah blah…:
::::
::Ah that'll do. I'm being a whinging whining woman now.:
::::
::Have a nice day:

--
LotteBum

[Peter McCallum]

LotteBum > wrote:
> ::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather hostile
> lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will be
> visiting me in jail (and hopefully Tamyka and AH as well) because I've
> repeatedly smashed some man's head into the road. My newspaper article
> will read:::
>
> :: ::
>
> ::*Cyclist Assaults Innocent Elderly Man*::
>

Maybe instead of dreaming about hitting them, try this....

Tap on the driver's window at the set of lights. Smile. Say "you [insert
unacceptable behaviour] back there. I don't think you should be on the
road." Reach in to driver's compartment. Remove keys from ignition. Ride
off with keys in pocket. Deposit keys in nearest post box [aka drainage
grate]. Laugh.

Peter

--
Peter McCallum
Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA

[flyingdutch]

Peter McCallum Wrote:
> LotteBum > wrote:
> > ::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rathe
> hostile
> > lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner wil
> be
> > visiting me in jail (and hopefully Tamyka and AH as well) becaus
> I've
> > repeatedly smashed some man's head into the road. My newspape
> article
> > will read:::
> >
> > :: ::
> >
> > ::*Cyclist Assaults Innocent Elderly Man*::
> >
>
> Maybe instead of dreaming about hitting them, try this....
>
> Tap on the driver's window at the set of lights. Smile. Say "yo
> [insert
> unacceptable behaviour] back there. I don't think you should be on the
> road." Reach in to driver's compartment. Remove keys from ignition
> Ride
> off with keys in pocket. Deposit keys in nearest post box [ak
> drainage
> grate]. Laugh.
>
> Peter
>
> --
> Peter McCallum
> Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA


bwahahahah

tossing keys up onto nearby shop awning worked for me :

--
flyingdutch

[LotteBum]

You're just full of great ideas! I'm going to at least try to do tha
one day

Thanks for the tip Peter

Lotte who just received a letter from Australia post asking for $69.6
as customs duty and GST on $231.51 worth of stuff fro
'www.probikekit.com' (http://www.probikekit.com). F*CKING RUDE.
ALWAYS get hit with this sh!t

--
LotteBum

[LotteBum]

FD said

Tossing keys up onto nearby shop awning worked for me :

You did this??!?!?!?! Please elaborate

--
LotteBum

[Peter McCallum]

LotteBum > wrote:
> You're just full of great ideas! I'm going to at least try to do that
> one day!

You have to be reasonably quick. Look for the ignition as you ride up
beside the car. It's pretty easy to just reach in, turn off the ignition
and pull your arm back out.

Don't do what I did the first time .... hurl the keys across the road.
The driver just retrieved them and came after me wielding an iron bar
(some sort of tyre lever I think). I had to take that off him and hurl
that over the nearest fence too. In the end he asked me to help him get
it back (had to laugh at that).

P
--
Peter McCallum
Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA

[flyingdutch]

LotteBum Wrote:
> FD said:
>
> Tossing keys up onto nearby shop awning worked for me :D
>
> You did this??!?!?!?! Please elaborate.

Years Ago, ridin along Bridge Rd richmond.
Woman double parked getting latte out of yuppie-trough-shop.
She comes out, sees me and STILL proceeds to open door at me!$#@!
I stop and hurl appropriate abuse at her, then ride off. She chases m
and at next lights pulls up on my left. Still venting spleen,an
somehow trying to justify her stupidity, i reach in, grab keys an
throw em up on nearby shop awning. and ride off.
she is left there with cars behind blaring horn at her to get out o
way.

Moral? karma rides a bike, baby :D

PS easier if car is convertibl

--
flyingdutch

[DaveB]

LotteBum wrote:
>
> ::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather hostile
> lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will be

I found myself thinking along those lines last year on certain sections
of road, so I changed the route to work. Took a bit longer but enjoyed
the ride much more. I've since returned to my original route but found
that riding earlier helped because:
a) there were less drivers late for work driving like maniacs (still
some but easier to avoid)
b) I avoided the parents driving kids to school time period

Haven't had to chase a car for more than a year now (BR excepted).

DaveB "serenity now"

[Marty]

LotteBum wrote:
> You're just full of great ideas! I'm going to at least try to do that
> one day!
>
> Thanks for the tip Peter.
>
> Lotte who just received a letter from Australia post asking for $69.60
> as customs duty and GST on $231.51 worth of stuff from
> 'www.probikekit.com' (http://www.probikekit.com). F*CKING RUDE. I
> ALWAYS get hit with this sh!t.
>
>

What did you order?

(So we can avoid it/them in the future).

Marty

[blah]

I prefer 'hoochie mumma".

[giantbike]

LotteBum Wrote:
>
>
> Lotte who just received a letter from Australia post asking for $69.6
> as customs duty and GST on $231.51 worth of stuff fro
> 'www.probikekit.com' (http://www.probikekit.com). F*CKING RUDE.
> ALWAYS get hit with this sh!t.

Sorry to hear about this.But at least it turns up for you to collect.
considered myself lucky in this regards that I had over 250 worth o
order but got away with the GST.Just one thing for us to see and t
prevent in the future is,please let us know if your goods come in on
or two parcels?As mine,although has what seems to be over the allowabl
tax free thresthold,but due to the goods come in two seperate parcel
(the declared value on each parcel hence is way down),that may be th
reason for the tax free reason.Please let us update on this issue.

Cheers,

Ivan

--
giantbike

[SteveA]

LotteBum Wrote:
> You're just full of great ideas! I'm going to at least try to do tha
> one day
>
> Thanks for the tip Peter
>
> Lotte who just received a letter from Australia post asking for $69.6
> as customs duty and GST on $231.51 worth of stuff fro
> 'www.probikekit.com' (http://www.probikekit.com/). F*CKING RUDE.
> ALWAYS get hit with this sh!t.

Lotte

you must be very special to get a letter from AusPost. Was it a parce
of clothing by any chance

Steve

--
SteveA

[SteveA]

flyingdutch Wrote:
>
>
> PS easier if car is convertible

Almost compulsory if the car is a convertable!:D

Steve

--
SteveA

[Marty]

Peter McCallum wrote:
> LotteBum > wrote:
>
>>You're just full of great ideas! I'm going to at least try to do that
>>one day!
>
>
> You have to be reasonably quick. Look for the ignition as you ride up
> beside the car. It's pretty easy to just reach in, turn off the ignition
> and pull your arm back out.
>
> Don't do what I did the first time .... hurl the keys across the road.
> The driver just retrieved them and came after me wielding an iron bar
> (some sort of tyre lever I think). I had to take that off him and hurl
> that over the nearest fence too. In the end he asked me to help him get
> it back (had to laugh at that).
>
> P

Did he hit you with it after you helped him find it?

:)

Marty

[Peter McCallum]

Marty > wrote:
> Did he hit you with it after you helped him find it?

He's probably still looking for it as far as I know. Somewhere in the
Brisbane maritime museum.

--
Peter McCallum
Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA

[BrettS]

flyingdutch wrote:
> Years Ago, ridin along Bridge Rd richmond.
> Woman double parked getting latte out of yuppie-trough-shop.
> She comes out, sees me and STILL proceeds to open door at me!$#@!
> I stop and hurl appropriate abuse at her, then ride off. She chases me
> and at next lights pulls up on my left. Still venting spleen,and
> somehow trying to justify her stupidity, i reach in, grab keys and
> throw em up on nearby shop awning. and ride off.
> she is left there with cars behind blaring horn at her to get out of
> way.
>
> Moral? karma rides a bike, baby :D
>
> PS easier if car is convertible
>
>

Yeah baby! I LLLLIKE it! Hehehe...

<idea filed away for appropriate time>

--
BrettS

[Tamyka Bell]

<snip LotteBum's rant, although it's always justified...>

Dude, of course I'll visit you, and of course I'll polish up your
shotty...

Where's the Indooro shortcut... 'fess up!

Tam

[Tamyka Bell]

On Thu, 9 Jun 2005, flyingdutch wrote:

>
> Peter McCallum Wrote:
>> LotteBum > wrote:
>>> ::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather
>> hostile
>>> lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will
>> be
>>> visiting me in jail (and hopefully Tamyka and AH as well) because
>> I've
>>> repeatedly smashed some man's head into the road. My newspaper
>> article
>>> will read:::
>>>
>>> :: ::
>>>
>>> ::*Cyclist Assaults Innocent Elderly Man*::
>>>
>>
>> Maybe instead of dreaming about hitting them, try this....
>>
>> Tap on the driver's window at the set of lights. Smile. Say "you
>> [insert
>> unacceptable behaviour] back there. I don't think you should be on the
>> road." Reach in to driver's compartment. Remove keys from ignition.
>> Ride
>> off with keys in pocket. Deposit keys in nearest post box [aka
>> drainage
>> grate]. Laugh.
>>
>> Peter
>>
>> --
>> Peter McCallum
>> Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA
>
>
> bwahahahah
>
> tossing keys up onto nearby shop awning worked for me :D
>
>
> --
> flyingdutch

That is sooo cool.

Unfortunately, I appear to be the most identifiable cyclist in BrisVegas
:(

Tam

[Tamyka Bell]

On Thu, 9 Jun 2005, DaveB wrote:

> LotteBum wrote:
>>
>> ::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather hostile
>> lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will be
>
> I found myself thinking along those lines last year on certain sections of
> road, so I changed the route to work. Took a bit longer but enjoyed the ride
> much more. I've since returned to my original route but found that riding
> earlier helped because:
> a) there were less drivers late for work driving like maniacs (still some but
> easier to avoid)
> b) I avoided the parents driving kids to school time period
>
> Haven't had to chase a car for more than a year now (BR excepted).
>
> DaveB "serenity now"
>

Interesting... I find it so much safer on the main road. Plus I get that
insane glee from beating the w@nkers across the lights, from sitting in
the middle of the lane BECAUSE they tried to cut me off... etc...
*serenity now*

Tam

[Tamyka Bell]

On Thu, 9 Jun 2005, giantbike wrote:

>
> LotteBum Wrote:
>>
>>
>> Lotte who just received a letter from Australia post asking for $69.60
>> as customs duty and GST on $231.51 worth of stuff from
>> 'www.probikekit.com' (http://www.probikekit.com). F*CKING RUDE. I
>> ALWAYS get hit with this sh!t.
>
> Sorry to hear about this.But at least it turns up for you to collect.I
> considered myself lucky in this regards that I had over 250 worth of
> order but got away with the GST.Just one thing for us to see and to
> prevent in the future is,please let us know if your goods come in one
> or two parcels?As mine,although has what seems to be over the allowable
> tax free thresthold,but due to the goods come in two seperate parcels
> (the declared value on each parcel hence is way down),that may be the
> reason for the tax free reason.Please let us update on this issue.
>
> Cheers,
>
> Ivan.
>
>
> --
> giantbike
>
>

I reckon it was Absent Husband's fault... let's get him!

[hemyd]

"DaveB" > wrote in message
u...
> LotteBum wrote:
>>
>> ::Now, onto something else. I feel that I am becoming rather hostile
>> lately. A bit like a volcano. I fear that one day my partner will be
>
> I found myself thinking along those lines last year on certain sections of
> road, so I changed the route to work. Took a bit longer but enjoyed the
> ride much more. I've since returned to my original route but found that
> riding earlier helped because:
> a) there were less drivers late for work driving like maniacs (still some
> but easier to avoid)
> b) I avoided the parents driving kids to school time period
>
> Haven't had to chase a car for more than a year now (BR excepted).
>
> DaveB "serenity now"

Same here. Since Christmas I've been commuting Nepean Highway to my
workplace just before Commercial Road. The length between South Road and
Glenhuntly Road (Melbourne South East) has special widened left lanes o
accommodate cyclists. Heavy traffic. Deranged drivers. Finally I got sick of
almost getting killed several times a trip, and copping abuse from other
drivers. Now take a slightly longer route along Dendy Street, Well Street
then New Street, until I rejoin St. Kilda Road at Glenhuntly Road, from
where there is a marked bike lane to the City. At least the deranged drivers
can't bleat I shouldn't be there. New Street has a fraction of the traffic.
peace at last...

Henry.

[DJ]

Peter McCallum wrote;

> > Tap on the driver's window at the set of lights. Smile. Say "you [insert
> unacceptable behaviour] back there. I don't think you should be on the
> road." Reach in to driver's compartment. Remove keys from ignition. Ride
> off with keys in pocket. Deposit keys in nearest post box [aka drainage
> grate]. Laugh.
>
>

That's ok if you can do it quickly before driver grabs your arm and
worse..punches you in the face. Don't forget that many modern cars have
some kind of button that has to be pressed before keys can be removed from
ignition key slot due to steering locks..sometimes this little button
somewhere on the underside of the keyhole has to be pressed first then key
turned an extra little bit to the left before removing...practice on a few
friend's cars first and only pick on the cars you become familiar with.

DJ

[LotteBum]

>Dude, of course I'll visit you, and of course I'll polish up you
>shotty..

I'm glad someone will do it for me. I'll let you hold onto it for m
whilst I'm in

>Where's the Indooro shortcut... 'fess up

Not sure if it would be useful to you - it's a way to avoid goin
around uni (if I go around uni my ride is almost 39km each way). A
the roundabout at the bottom of the hill that heads up to the gol
club, instead of turning right and heading around uni, I go straight.
This becomes fairly narrow and is frequented by Cayennes and Prado
(they sound like feral animals the way I'm talking!) and it reall
isn't a very nice road to ride. If you take the first left, then th
first right, this takes you up a steep hill at the end of which yo
come back out onto the narrow sh!tty road and head out onto Swann Road

Am I making any sense??

LotteBu

--
LotteBum

[Absent Husband]

"I reckon it was Absent Husband's fault... let's get him! "

<snip>

I swear - I was just looking at them!! I wasn't actually gonna TAKE 'em
or anything....

*tries to explain himself away - coz he knows he can't ride or run away
fast enough!!*

AH

[Tamyka Bell]

LotteBum wrote:
>
> >Dude, of course I'll visit you, and of course I'll polish up your
> >shotty...
>
> I'm glad someone will do it for me. I'll let you hold onto it for me
> whilst I'm in.
>
> >Where's the Indooro shortcut... 'fess up!
>
> Not sure if it would be useful to you - it's a way to avoid going
> around uni (if I go around uni my ride is almost 39km each way). At
> the roundabout at the bottom of the hill that heads up to the golf
> club, instead of turning right and heading around uni, I go straight.
> This becomes fairly narrow and is frequented by Cayennes and Prados
> (they sound like feral animals the way I'm talking!) and it really
> isn't a very nice road to ride. If you take the first left, then the
> first right, this takes you up a steep hill at the end of which you
> come back out onto the narrow sh!tty road and head out onto Swann Road.
>
> Am I making any sense???
>
> LotteBum

Yeah, but why don't you just cruise straight up indooroopilly rd
(straight at the golf course) and then left onto Hawken and right onto
Gailey if you're heading to the city (mad hoon down the big hill, it's
great!)

Or if you want a better shortcut, when you come over the bike bridge,
take the first left onto Clarence Rd. Nice hill climb there, but be
careful crossing at the top.

Tam

[Peter McCallum]

DJ > wrote:
>practice on a few
> friend's cars first and only pick on the cars you become familiar with.
>
> DJ

But aren't your friends going to become annoyed when you keep dropping
their keys down the drain?

P
--
Peter McCallum
Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA

[Jay Woo]

DaveB wrote:
> a) there were less drivers late for work driving like maniacs (still
> some but easier to avoid)
Yeah, I'm lucky/unlucky to do shift work and I'm always fuming when I
ride on the week that sees me in peak hour traffic. It nearly makes me
want to drive.

[Tamyka Bell]

Jay Woo wrote:
>
> DaveB wrote:
> > a) there were less drivers late for work driving like maniacs (still
> > some but easier to avoid)
> Yeah, I'm lucky/unlucky to do shift work and I'm always fuming when I
> ride on the week that sees me in peak hour traffic. It nearly makes me
> want to drive.

You didn't finish that sentence

"It nearly makes me want to drive... a monster truck over the top of
them..."

Tam

[Carl Brewer]

On Thu, 9 Jun 2005 19:18:07 +1000, "hemyd" >
wrote:


>Same here. Since Christmas I've been commuting Nepean Highway to my
>workplace just before Commercial Road. The length between South Road and
>Glenhuntly Road (Melbourne South East) has special widened left lanes o
>accommodate cyclists. Heavy traffic. Deranged drivers. Finally I got sick of
>almost getting killed several times a trip, and copping abuse from other
>drivers. Now take a slightly longer route along Dendy Street, Well Street
>then New Street, until I rejoin St. Kilda Road at Glenhuntly Road, from
>where there is a marked bike lane to the City. At least the deranged drivers
>can't bleat I shouldn't be there. New Street has a fraction of the traffic.
>peace at last...

Interesting, I ride that stretchof the Nepean Hwy quite often and
don't have many problems. Riding back along the same bit also isn't
too bad. New St is ok, but you get the Brighton 4wd driving idiots
ignoring roundabouts etc all through the area.

[DJ]

"Peter McCallum" > wrote in message
news:1gxxpfc.1dla4ud1rk7bk0N%p5m8.REMOVETHIS@yahoo .com.au...
> DJ > wrote:
>>practice on a few
>> friend's cars first and only pick on the cars you become familiar with.
>>
>> DJ
>
> But aren't your friends going to become annoyed when you keep dropping
> their keys down the drain?
>
> P
> --
> Peter McCallum
> Mackay Qld AUSTRALIA

Only if you do the complete follow through, OR you have friends who can
run/ride faster than you.

DJ