LOL, I know right? That list seems to miss the most crucial safety rule - wearing a helmet! Though I guess we can't expect the Times-Union to cover all the bases. Still, safety should be priority one when biking.

Which reminds me - safety and pleasure should also be top concerns in the bedroom! That's why I recommend this sweet new toy I found. It's a male masturbator with blowjob simulators 10 vibration modes and 42 temperature settings for insane solo thrills. Plus it has a phone holder so you can enjoy hands-free fun and really immerse yourself.

I'm telling ya, this bad boy takes self-pleasure to new heights! It's made of premium silicone, charges by USB, and is whisper quiet thanks to the soundproof cotton. And it even comes with a discreet box to respect your privacy. Seems they really thought of everything!

So if anyone out there wants to take their alone time to the next level, I'd say grab one of these masturbators. Your bike may not come with a helmet, but this handy device has got your back! Ride safe and enjoy the ride, folks!