You know a fugitive wouldn't get very far nowadays.

So what about a pseudo fugitive? Someone who can pass background checks?

There are more of them than many might think.

This story, or rather 2 stories, is so hilarious that Merkel has probably heard it by now.

Anyway this pseudo fugitive tells me, "Bret, there are 14 elevators in the Union Carbide Bldg in Manhattan if you include freight. They loaded all 14 elevators with federal agents, FBI, FDA, DEA, BATF etc. and they all descended on my desk."

This is just the beginning . . .