A polite-ish notice to all cyclists on country roads during harvest.

Please understand I have zero issues with you using the roads to ride your bicycle, I’m all for exercising and if slipping in to a lycra suit and impaling your self on a dick shaped bike seat for hours keeps you satisfied then each to their own. If I’m driving a car I always give plenty of ‘safe space’ when passing cyclists which is only fair, we know how sensitive you are to your requested road space, you have just as much right to the roads as anyone....

HOWEVER, if I’m coming at you in a ****ing great tractor with 20 tons behind me on a single track road, do me and yourself a favour and STOP for one second, either move as far over to your side of the road or just step on to the verge if there is one, so I can pass safely, do not just continue at full speed and then **** and moan as you go past because if it goes wrong you’ll end up being pressure washed off a tractor wheel. Unfortunately for you we take all your space and we can’t help it, so unless you want to lend a hand either changing a tyre that’s blown out or shovelling up a spillage, then we’re not dropping our wheels into drainage grips so that you can continue your bicycle ride. Cars, horse riders and runners are capable of it, I seem to be missing something with cyclists, I presume either you don’t want to get your special bike dirty, you’re trying to beat your PB or more than likely you’re just a complete cock in general.

Regards your Road Safety Advocate for the 3 shires