From my brother in law:

"Oh sure, while on your bike you've been hit by police cars and downpours, but
can you top this? On the BikeE when I see ... a big snapper very, very slowly
making his way across the road. With all the traffic he's a definite goner.
Me, I pull up and try to prod him along with my front wheel, until he bites the
tire and gives me a flat! When I very, very carefully pick him up--he ****es
all over me. So I pitch him into the next pond as far as I can throw the
******* and start walking home."