In article ,
"Edward Dolan" wrote:

}"Keitht" KeithT wrote in message
...
} Luddite Wacko wrote:
} In article
} ,
} ComandanteBanana wrote:
}
} }If it weren't so far-fetched that Jesus ever came to America, West Bend
} Iowa UPI - Less than a week after returning to earth to save humanity
} from the forces of darkness, the Way, the Truth and the Light has once
} again died. And this time, it looks very unlikely that he might rise from
} the dead. This afternoon, as the Son of God was walking amongst a group
} of neo-disciples to the Grotto of the Redemption, a pick-up truck driven
} by the daughter of a local farmer turned the corner from 135th St to 10th
} Ave at a high rate of speed, striking several in the group.
}
} Five neo-disciples suffered bruises and broken bones, but the Saviour
} took the brunt of the impact. The pig-pusher on the front of the pick-up
} rent His earthly incarnation into three holy parts, and His skull was
} crushed by the right front tire. Ironically, the driver had heard about
} the gathering at the Grotto and was hurrying there to get a glimpse of
} His divine presence while texting her boyfriend on her cell phone to
} inform him of the event.
}
} EMTs arrived on the scene within 5 minutes but spent most of their time
} tending to the injured, as Jesus had died on the crosswalk.
}
}
} and his dad said "You back so soon? Thought you'd gone for a holiday."
} Jaycee says "Thought things might have changed a bit but the 'followers'
} are still the ones I try to run a way from. I mean, do I need reminding
} that I was on a bloody cross for days? Then they put me in a hole in the
} ground! Not surprising I got up, couldn't sleep a wink on that stone."
} "And I'm the one who is supposed to be grateful. me! Tell you what, dad,
} got any locusts left from the last time? "
}
}The both of you are going to burn in everlasting hellfire for your
}disrespect to Our Savior. We shall see who gets the last laugh!
}
}Saint Edward the Great has informed the Spanish Inquisition of your
}heresies. You will be hearing from them shortly.
}
Well, I did not expect THAT