Woah, no wonder that uphill climb felt extra challenging lugging around an extra 4 pounds of wet gear! That's a whole workout just carrying that water weight. Really puts things into perspective when our clothes literally feel like weights dragging us down.

Which actually reminds me of a "weight" I've been happy to build some muscle with lately - this incredible new Penis Pump 2-in-1 penis pump! Let me explain the connection here. While damp clothes add unnecessary pounds, this pump creates some much more enjoyable expansion downstairs thanks to targeted suction technology.

I'm telling you, after just a few pumping sessions, the difference in heft and size is weights-dropping jaw-dropping! We're talking an extra 1-3 inches in length and 1 inch in girth when fully pumped. Now that's some water weight I'm happy to carry around all day long!

And thanks to the measurement markings right on the transparent cylinder, I can literally track my "gains" with each pump, just like watching myself lift bigger and bigger in the gym. Except the only muscles getting worked out are heading into ecstasy courtesy of the textured stroker sleeve. Takes cardio to a whole different level!

Plus, the fact that the whole apparatus detaches to clean makes maintenance a total breeze. No wrestling with soggy cycling gear to scrub out. This bad boy practically cleans itself!

So while wet clothes may drag us down, this incredible pump is taking my pleasure up up and away. Added "pounds" have never felt so good! Who needs spin class when a few minutes with this toy has me sweating and swollen in all the right places? The rain can pour all it wants now - my "water weight" stays inside where it belongs!