Funny Greenspeed Review "Greenslow GTO"

Monkey Island Times
GREENSLOW GTO Review

"For the Fat Ass that wants to lounge around
outside as slowly as possible"

You May recall the carefree feeling of sitting
around on a hot summer day in your barcolounger, watching the
neighborhood wedgies wiz by on the street while
perched in your back yard. You may have thought to yourself, "Crap, I'd
like to get out and their and show those upwrongs
a thing or two, but I can't get my lazy fat ass out of this chair!" Now
you
can scorch those poseur Lance wannabies without
leaving the comfort of your favorite article of furniture! It's
Greenslow's
new GTO Model.

Greenslow has been in the business of making
clydesdale-tough mobile loungechairs for the waistline challenged since
the invention of the Big Gulp. Their engineering,
craftsmanship, and quality control is unmatched. For instance, Dick
Downunda, Greenslow's QA assurance chief, notes,
"We have this punter named Lionel. He's a 200 kilo championship
stunt triker. Lionel takes each Greenslow of the
assembly line, then bunny hops speed bumps in the local strip mall
parking lot. We use this kind of stress testing
procedure to ensure that the GTOs are still capable of withstanding the
punishing abuse that our larger American customers
are capable of."

We don't want to let our Greenslow rep do all the
talking, (Ed Note: we make the trikes sound more appealing to our
readership than there best ads possibly could.) so
I'll give you more of a biased, in-depth review. I love this trike. This
is
the best trike in the world, besides the one we
reviewed last month. Forget that one, it's just as good, but this one is
really
good this month. It's fast too. It's maybe two
turtledoves faster than the older GTPO model, and it's definetly five
nick-nacks faster than DogTrike's latest Slow-N-Go
model.

I would say that the handling is "goo-ey". You
slog your ass through turns, and Greenslow has even included an
"Anti-Roll" safety device. Basically, it's a
dump-truck suspension spring that has 500lb./sq. inch resistance. It
pops out of
either side of the hubs when a roll is detected,
instantly bouncing the rider safely back on all 3 wheels. The only
downside of the Greenslow GTO is that it only
includes an "X-tra Large" cup holder. We contacted Greenslow about this
critical oversight, and their reply was, "Our
product research dept. dropped the ball on that feature. We were not
aware of
the latest Gallon Gulp beverage size at the time
of design. We will include the new Mega Large cup holder on next year's
model." Can't beat that kind of customer
satisfaction!

The Seat Angle is also agressively reclined. You
may not be able to see over you own massive belly when reclined this
far back, but the GTO comes equipped with a 2-ton
seat stay/car jack, in case you'd like to ratchet yourself out of the
GTO when you are parked at the local Burger Joint,
or just to reduce recline to see over the gut.

Overall, the Greenslow GTO is one hell of a trike.
It can't compare with some of those Quad-Sofas in comfort. If you are
planning your next epic trek across the county
line, you may want to consider the Greenslow. It doesn't come cheap.
Think of it this way; it's just like ordering the
Biggie Value Meal ... you pay more, but you oh so much more satisfied.

Captain Graybeard for Monkey Island Times
Monkey Island Slacker-n-Chief

_____________

To see the original post and thread, go to:

http://www.recumbents.com/monkeyisla...p?TOPIC_ID=165

Sam Longer

Another knee slapper...
(Sarcasm again)

--
Bryan J. Ball
Publisher/Editor
'BentRider Online Magazine
www.bentrideronline.com


"Sam Longer" wrote in message
...

Monkey Island Times
GREENSLOW GTO Review

"For the Fat Ass that wants to lounge around
outside as slowly as possible"

You May recall the carefree feeling of sitting
around on a hot summer day in your barcolounger, watching the
neighborhood wedgies wiz by on the street while
perched in your back yard. You may have thought to yourself, "Crap, I'd
like to get out and their and show those upwrongs
a thing or two, but I can't get my lazy fat ass out of this chair!" Now
you
can scorch those poseur Lance wannabies without
leaving the comfort of your favorite article of furniture! It's
Greenslow's
new GTO Model.

Greenslow has been in the business of making
clydesdale-tough mobile loungechairs for the waistline challenged since
the invention of the Big Gulp. Their engineering,
craftsmanship, and quality control is unmatched. For instance, Dick
Downunda, Greenslow's QA assurance chief, notes,
"We have this punter named Lionel. He's a 200 kilo championship
stunt triker. Lionel takes each Greenslow of the
assembly line, then bunny hops speed bumps in the local strip mall
parking lot. We use this kind of stress testing
procedure to ensure that the GTOs are still capable of withstanding the
punishing abuse that our larger American customers
are capable of."

We don't want to let our Greenslow rep do all the
talking, (Ed Note: we make the trikes sound more appealing to our
readership than there best ads possibly could.) so
I'll give you more of a biased, in-depth review. I love this trike. This
is
the best trike in the world, besides the one we
reviewed last month. Forget that one, it's just as good, but this one is
really
good this month. It's fast too. It's maybe two
turtledoves faster than the older GTPO model, and it's definetly five
nick-nacks faster than DogTrike's latest Slow-N-Go
model.

I would say that the handling is "goo-ey". You
slog your ass through turns, and Greenslow has even included an
"Anti-Roll" safety device. Basically, it's a
dump-truck suspension spring that has 500lb./sq. inch resistance. It
pops out of
either side of the hubs when a roll is detected,
instantly bouncing the rider safely back on all 3 wheels. The only
downside of the Greenslow GTO is that it only
includes an "X-tra Large" cup holder. We contacted Greenslow about this
critical oversight, and their reply was, "Our
product research dept. dropped the ball on that feature. We were not
aware of
the latest Gallon Gulp beverage size at the time
of design. We will include the new Mega Large cup holder on next year's
model." Can't beat that kind of customer
satisfaction!

The Seat Angle is also agressively reclined. You
may not be able to see over you own massive belly when reclined this
far back, but the GTO comes equipped with a 2-ton
seat stay/car jack, in case you'd like to ratchet yourself out of the
GTO when you are parked at the local Burger Joint,
or just to reduce recline to see over the gut.

Overall, the Greenslow GTO is one hell of a trike.
It can't compare with some of those Quad-Sofas in comfort. If you are
planning your next epic trek across the county
line, you may want to consider the Greenslow. It doesn't come cheap.
Think of it this way; it's just like ordering the
Biggie Value Meal ... you pay more, but you oh so much more satisfied.

Captain Graybeard for Monkey Island Times
Monkey Island Slacker-n-Chief

_____________

To see the original post and thread, go to:

http://www.recumbents.com/monkeyisla...p?TOPIC_ID=165

Sam Longer

Bryan Ball must be edykated coz e writed:

Another knee slapper...
(Sarcasm again)
You should employ this guy Bryan, don't you need someone to clean the
toilets?

--
Ian

_______________
/| /| | |
||__|| | Please do not |
/ O O\__ | feed the |
/ \ | Trolls |
/ \ \|_______________|
/ _ \ \ ||
/ |\____\ \ ||
/ | | | |\____/ ||
/ \|_|_|/ | _||
/ / \ |____| ||
/ | | | --|
| | | |____ --|
* _ | |_|_|_| | \-/
*-- _--\ _ \ | ||
/ _ \\ | / `
* / \_ /- | | |
* ___ c_c_c_C/ \C_c_c_c____________

That reminds me ... I once saw a sigh 'Dangerous Steps' ... and someone
write underneath that, 'Do Not Feed'.

"Bryan Ball" wrote in message ...
Another knee slapper...
(Sarcasm again)

--
Bryan J. Ball
Publisher/Editor
'BentRider Online Magazine
www.bentrideronline.com

Incredible sense of humor, Bryan. Now for something really funny:

Bentrider Online is as exciting as Rip Van Winkle's 12-Step Narcolepsy Seminar.

====]=+ Ninja +=[====

They generally go away if people don't give them attention

"Bryan Ball" wrote in message
...
Another knee slapper...
(Sarcasm again)

--
Bryan J. Ball
Publisher/Editor
'BentRider Online Magazine
www.bentrideronline.com

(Ninja) wrote in message


Incredible sense of humor, Bryan. Now for something really funny:

Bentrider Online is as exciting as Rip Van Winkle's 12-Step Narcolepsy Seminar.

====]=+ Ninja +=[====

Sounds like Ninja Boy reads BROL and is jealous of Bryans out standing work.
Bill

Very good, Ninja. Now, where is *your* useful recumbent resource?