Am I at risk?

Ever since Tom's carbon fork exploded, I've been thinking. I myself
am largely made of this unstable, dangerous material. Also, I'm not
under much stress at all, and I've learned this is when carbon is most
likely to explode. Finally, I don't move a heck of a lot, so the
loads on my carbon are "static," and even though I don't see how this
relates to having wrinkly clothes, it is also a risk factor that I
must consider.

Am I in danger of spontaneous combustion? If so, is there anything I
can do to minimize the risk that I will explode, delaminate, implode,
reach criticality, or atomize?

-rj

ronaldo_jeremiah wrote:
Ever since Tom's carbon fork exploded, I've been thinking. I myself
am largely made of this unstable, dangerous material. Also, I'm not
under much stress at all, and I've learned this is when carbon is most
likely to explode. Finally, I don't move a heck of a lot, so the
loads on my carbon are "static," and even though I don't see how this
relates to having wrinkly clothes, it is also a risk factor that I
must consider.

Am I in danger of spontaneous combustion? If so, is there anything I
can do to minimize the risk that I will explode, delaminate, implode,
reach criticality, or atomize?

Dumbass,
Frequently bond with your plastic fleshlight to reduce static buildup.

ronaldo_jeremiah wrote:

Ever since Tom's carbon fork exploded, I've been thinking. I myself
am largely made of this unstable, dangerous material. Also, I'm not
under much stress at all, and I've learned this is when carbon is most
likely to explode. Finally, I don't move a heck of a lot, so the
loads on my carbon are "static," and even though I don't see how this
relates to having wrinkly clothes, it is also a risk factor that I
must consider.

Am I in danger of spontaneous combustion? If so, is there anything I
can do to minimize the risk that I will explode, delaminate, implode,
reach criticality, or atomize?

It turns out that most cases of human "spontaneous combustion" involved
drunken (or drugged) overweight people falling asleep in a chair or bed
with a lit cigarette. The theory is that the cigarette starts the
upholstery smoldering, that heat then liquifies human body fat, which then
wicks into the fabric, and keeps the low temperature (relatively speaking)
combustion process going. In a sense, the human in question becomes a
giant candle. It is easy to see that this mechanism contains things
commonly found around any FM racer type: alcohol, overstuffed upholstery,
human body fat, and a source of ignition. So, while I doubt you will
explode, you could at some point "light it up like a candle," although not
the Roman type, and the end result will be people going "eeeeyewwwwww"
rather than "ooooh ahhhhhh."

If you search for this on "The Straight Dope," Unca Cecil described it in
lurid detail.

--
Bill Asher

William Asher wrote:


It turns out that most cases of human "spontaneous combustion" involved
drunken (or drugged) overweight people falling asleep in a chair or bed
with a lit cigarette.

Or were drummers for Spinal Tap...

ronaldo_jeremiah wrote:
Ever since Tom's carbon fork exploded, I've been thinking. I myself
am largely made of this unstable, dangerous material. Also, I'm not
under much stress at all, and I've learned this is when carbon is most
likely to explode. Finally, I don't move a heck of a lot, so the
loads on my carbon are "static," and even though I don't see how this
relates to having wrinkly clothes, it is also a risk factor that I
must consider.

Am I in danger of spontaneous combustion? If so, is there anything I
can do to minimize the risk that I will explode, delaminate, implode,
reach criticality, or atomize?

-rj

Additional risk factors to consider:

- Are you Nigerian?
- Are your pants made of carbon fiber?

In article
,
ronaldo_jeremiah wrote:

Ever since Tom's carbon fork exploded, I've been thinking. I myself
am largely made of this unstable, dangerous material. Also, I'm not
under much stress at all, and I've learned this is when carbon is most
likely to explode. Finally, I don't move a heck of a lot, so the
loads on my carbon are "static," and even though I don't see how this
relates to having wrinkly clothes, it is also a risk factor that I
must consider.

Am I in danger of spontaneous combustion? If so, is there anything I
can do to minimize the risk that I will explode, delaminate, implode,
reach criticality, or atomize?

You're not a drummer, are you? Drummers explode all the time.

--
Michael Press

On Dec 28, 5:38*pm, dave a wrote:
William Asher wrote:

It turns out that most cases of human "spontaneous combustion" involved
drunken (or drugged) overweight people falling asleep in a chair or bed
with a lit cigarette. *

Or were drummers for Spinal Tap...

nice.

On Dec 29, 6:19*pm, Michael Press wrote:
In article
,

*ronaldo_jeremiah wrote:
Ever since Tom's carbon fork exploded, I've been thinking. *I myself
am largely made of this unstable, dangerous material. *Also, I'm not
under much stress at all, and I've learned this is when carbon is most
likely to explode. *Finally, I don't move a heck of a lot, so the
loads on my carbon are "static," and even though I don't see how this
relates to having wrinkly clothes, it is also a risk factor that I
must consider.

Am I in danger of spontaneous combustion? *If so, is there anything I
can do to minimize the risk that I will explode, delaminate, implode,
reach criticality, or atomize?

You're not a drummer, are you? Drummers explode all the time.

--
Michael Press

They choke on vomit, other peoples vomit and gardening accidents that
the authorities think are best left unsolved.

RJ,

There is much to worry about.

Anything a 6 year old could imagine and fantasize about Tom Kunich is
also capable of.

It's just a question of time before a dragon under his bed attacks him
while he sleeps but only after he's ridden a benchmark number of miles
for the year.

You know something like 10,000 with a little more fudge on top to make
it look like an honest number.

AB