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Beware of eBay scammers, but you're all too damn smart anyways... (long)



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 5th 04, 02:39 AM
ZeeExSixAre
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Beware of eBay scammers, but you're all too damn smart anyways... (long)

So here's the background story. I bid on a Kona Dawg just for fun to feel
out for the reserve. Lo and behold, a scammer that saw that I bid on it
offered me a new 2004 for $800 shipped. Here is how it went (skip through
the long section that he writes, but read all my stuff):


First solicitation:

Hi there,
I have this Kona Dawg 2004 Mountain Bike 18 at price 800 USD.If you are
interested reply me soon for more details of info.
Respects.

================================================== =

Note: Immediately contact Rules & Safety
http://www.ebay.com.sg/help?page=helpPolicies if one of eBay's rules were
violated, such as:
- Your contact information was used for purposes unrelated to eBay
business, published online or offline, or was used for the purposes of
harassment.
- You received contact information which you believe to be erroneous.

Thank you for using eBay!
http://www.ebay.com.sg/

--------------------------------------
My reply:

Actually I'm looking for a Kona Stinky 2002 or 2003 for around the same
price range. Do you have these? What is your phone number? Where are you
located? How would I send payment?

Phil, Squid-in-Training
--------------------------------------
His reply:

Hi there,


My phone doesn't work...Like you saw in the auction for the payment i
accept money order transfers via MoneyGram or Western Union and i will ship
the package via UPS Air Express, FedEx or DHL.But i think i will make the
delivery via UPS Air Express becasuse you will receive the package must
fast.I will pay the shipping and insurance costs and you must pay the money
order fees because i think this is fair for both of us!Let's close this
deal.Please let's close this deal using Western Union money transfers
because i have an agent just around the corner and it will be much easy for
me when i will pick up the money.So here's what you have to do.You must go
to an Western Union office and make the payment on my name and address,
after you made the payment people from
Western Union will give you a MTC# (Money Transfer Control Number), you must
mail me this number and i will check with this number at Western Union web
page and if everything it's fine and you are a serious buyer i will go right
away at UPS and send you the package and the tracking number from UPS in
your e-mail to be able to check that the package is in your way.After you
will receive the package you must mail me to pick up the money.Thanks and i
will wait your full name and address because i need to know where i must
shipp the package!
---------------------------------------
My reply:

Actually, I'd like to pay $2000 for this bike. I think it's worth that
much. Please ship the bike first to 14923 Count Chocula Way, Miami, FL
38471. Once I receive the bike, I will send cash through the mail. I think
that we'll both benefit from doing business this way. I'm sure you'll be
comfortable sending me the bike based on my feedback. Let me know if this
is ok. Have a nice day!

--------------------------------------
His reply:

Hi there,
I don`t make the same mistake to send the product first and no receive any
money.I will wait your mail for more details.
Respects
John
----------------------------------------
My reply:


I thought that your name was Mike. Your e-mail address says Mike Elbe, but
you signed your message John. Which is it? Oh well, it doesn't matter.

I will have my mommy and daddy approve my purchase. I am 7 years old and
think that they will pay for this. What do you think? How do you go potty?

If they approve, I will have a money order sent out on Monday. What address
should I send the money order to?

Phil, Squid-in-Training
-----------------------------------------
His reply:

Hi there,
My name is John Nemor and Mike Elbe is my step brother.
My full name and adress is John Nemor
Address: Estrada da Outurela, 118 - A
2795-606 Carnaxide
Portugal
For payment accept only Western Union because i don`t have a Paypal acount
and is muck easy.I will shipp via UPS EXPRESS AIR and arrive in 2 days.if
you are agree reply me soon for more details or info.
I must tell you that i'm a honest man.. I have a wife and I have two
childrens.. One boy and one girl (Maria and Alexander).. I have a question
for you: Do you think that I will risk my freedom going to jail for your
money ?! I'm sorry but I will not do that because I have childrens to grow
up !

I have a proposition for you: You will go to any Western Union agency and
you will send the money my address ! You will put a secret question and a
secret answer to your money ! In that way I can't pick up the money !

You will e-mail me with your full name and address and I will go right to
UPS to ship you the package ! I will contact you with the UPS scaned paper
and that alows you to see that the package has been sent already to your
address !The only way in that we can close this deal is Western Union !
Don't forget that I can't pick up your money without my address and without
the secret question and the secret answer.I will wait your mail with your
decision.

Respects
John
----------------------------------------
My reply:

How do I know that you won't just take the money and run away? I heard from
friends that people often offer deals outside of eBay, ask for money by
Western Union, and then disappear, never to return. They also speak broken
English because they're from a country in which English isn't the primary
language (Mr. Matthews would enjoy that, huh? lol)

Did I mention that I'm an honest man too? I work 3 jobs, 120 hours per
week, and I have 18 kids to feed. I also have 5 wives, but that's besides
the point. Anyways, I work my ass off dealing crack and heroin... I need
this bike for transportation. Granted, I like to jump off of buildings too,
but the cops probably dont' care about the bike jumping compared to the drug
trafficking.

Anyways, despite all the obvious warning signs that this is a scam, I think
I'll buy this bike from you. I will have the secret message and password
ready for you by tomorrow. I'm sending you $328,315,342,682,231.22 by
Western Union to the address you gave me. Of course I only have $168 in my
bank account, but since I'll be scamming you, I'm sure you won't mind.

Thanks for doing business with me!

Phil, Squid-in-Training
---------------------------------------
His reply:

Hi there,
The bike cost 800USd including the shipping taxes and all insurances.I`m
not aa scammer.l m not a scammer.So email me your decision.
Respects
John
---------------------------------------
My reply:

Alright. I'll buy your bike! I've sent out the money order for $2 billion
dollars (say it like, "Two beeeeeleeeyon dollars" for maximum effect) to the
Portugal address. The secret password question is: "Who?" and the answer
me, "Me!"

You wouldn't happen to live in Singapore, would you?

I am an FBI agent (You've watched those Hollywood government conspiracy
movies, where the innocent scammer was taken to the secluded area where
nobody could hear his screams as they disembowled him and such, right?). So
basically, I'm going to kick your little patootie to "Federal
Pound-me-in-the-ass prison." Hmm... another cultural reference you might
not know. Oh wait, it's from a scamming movie, so maybe you've seen it!
Problem is, you probably have virtually no idea what I'm talking about or
what I'm saying to you, so the point is moot.

Do you know what the penalties for fraud are in Singapore? Yeah... neither
do I, but that's ok. I'm sure they rip off your testicles regardless of the
offense.

Have a nice day! :-)
---------------------------------------


--
Phil, Squid-in-Training



Ads
  #2  
Old February 5th 04, 03:06 AM
tcmedara
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Beware of eBay scammers, but you're all too damn smart anyways... (long)

ZeeExSixAre wrote:
(snip)
Do you know what the penalties for fraud are in Singapore? Yeah...
neither do I, but that's ok. I'm sure they rip off your testicles
regardless of the offense.

Have a nice day! :-)



Well done! Worth the read. I'm amazed that people actually fall for this
stuff.

Tom


  #3  
Old February 5th 04, 03:52 AM
Slacker
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Beware of eBay scammers, but you're all too damn smart anyways... (long)

tcmedara wrote:
ZeeExSixAre wrote:
(snip)
Do you know what the penalties for fraud are in Singapore? Yeah...
neither do I, but that's ok. I'm sure they rip off your testicles
regardless of the offense.

Have a nice day! :-)



Well done! Worth the read. I'm amazed that people actually fall for
this stuff.

Tom



lol excellent
--
Slacker


  #4  
Old February 5th 04, 04:32 AM
Rocketman
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Beware of eBay scammers, but you're all too damn smart anyways... (long)

"ZeeExSixAre" wrote in message
...
So here's the background story. I bid on a Kona Dawg just for fun...

friggin' hilarious story snipped

basically, I'm going to kick your little patootie to "Federal
Pound-me-in-the-ass prison." Hmm... another cultural reference you might
not know. Oh wait, it's from a scamming movie, so maybe you've seen it!


"Conjugal visits? Not that I'm aware of. You know, minimum security prison
is no picnic. I had a client in there once. He said the trick is: kick
someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's bitch."

"Hey, Peter, man! It's the breast exam lady!"

Mike Judge is a friggin' geeeenius.

r0cK3T/\/\4|\|



  #5  
Old February 5th 04, 04:50 AM
Westie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Beware of eBay scammers, but you're all too damn smart anyways... (long)

ZeeExSixAre wrote:
So here's the background story. I bid on a Kona Dawg just for fun to
feel out for the reserve. Lo and behold, a scammer that saw that I
bid on it offered me a new 2004 for $800 shipped. Here is how it
went (skip through the long section that he writes, but read all my
stuff):

snip


Good stuff. Had a great laugh over it. :-)
--
Westie
(Replace 'invalid' with 'yahoo' when replying.)


  #6  
Old February 5th 04, 01:22 PM
KumKaneco
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Beware of eBay scammers, but you're all too damn smart anyways... (long)

I´m ashamed that this guy lives in the same country as I do.

KK


"ZeeExSixAre" escreveu na mensagem
...
So here's the background story. I bid on a Kona Dawg just for fun to feel
out for the reserve. Lo and behold, a scammer that saw that I bid on it
offered me a new 2004 for $800 shipped. Here is how it went (skip through
the long section that he writes, but read all my stuff):


First solicitation:

Hi there,
I have this Kona Dawg 2004 Mountain Bike 18 at price 800 USD.If you are
interested reply me soon for more details of info.
Respects.

================================================== =

Note: Immediately contact Rules & Safety
http://www.ebay.com.sg/help?page=helpPolicies if one of eBay's rules were
violated, such as:
- Your contact information was used for purposes unrelated to eBay
business, published online or offline, or was used for the purposes of
harassment.
- You received contact information which you believe to be erroneous.

Thank you for using eBay!
http://www.ebay.com.sg/

--------------------------------------
My reply:

Actually I'm looking for a Kona Stinky 2002 or 2003 for around the same
price range. Do you have these? What is your phone number? Where are you
located? How would I send payment?

Phil, Squid-in-Training
--------------------------------------
His reply:

Hi there,


My phone doesn't work...Like you saw in the auction for the payment i
accept money order transfers via MoneyGram or Western Union and i will

ship
the package via UPS Air Express, FedEx or DHL.But i think i will make the
delivery via UPS Air Express becasuse you will receive the package must
fast.I will pay the shipping and insurance costs and you must pay the

money
order fees because i think this is fair for both of us!Let's close this
deal.Please let's close this deal using Western Union money transfers
because i have an agent just around the corner and it will be much easy

for
me when i will pick up the money.So here's what you have to do.You must go
to an Western Union office and make the payment on my name and address,
after you made the payment people from
Western Union will give you a MTC# (Money Transfer Control Number), you

must
mail me this number and i will check with this number at Western Union web
page and if everything it's fine and you are a serious buyer i will go

right
away at UPS and send you the package and the tracking number from UPS in
your e-mail to be able to check that the package is in your way.After you
will receive the package you must mail me to pick up the money.Thanks and

i
will wait your full name and address because i need to know where i must
shipp the package!
---------------------------------------
My reply:

Actually, I'd like to pay $2000 for this bike. I think it's worth that
much. Please ship the bike first to 14923 Count Chocula Way, Miami, FL
38471. Once I receive the bike, I will send cash through the mail. I

think
that we'll both benefit from doing business this way. I'm sure you'll be
comfortable sending me the bike based on my feedback. Let me know if this
is ok. Have a nice day!

--------------------------------------
His reply:

Hi there,
I don`t make the same mistake to send the product first and no receive any
money.I will wait your mail for more details.
Respects
John
----------------------------------------
My reply:


I thought that your name was Mike. Your e-mail address says Mike Elbe,

but
you signed your message John. Which is it? Oh well, it doesn't matter.

I will have my mommy and daddy approve my purchase. I am 7 years old and
think that they will pay for this. What do you think? How do you go

potty?

If they approve, I will have a money order sent out on Monday. What

address
should I send the money order to?

Phil, Squid-in-Training
-----------------------------------------
His reply:

Hi there,
My name is John Nemor and Mike Elbe is my step brother.
My full name and adress is John Nemor
Address: Estrada da Outurela, 118 - A
2795-606 Carnaxide
Portugal
For payment accept only Western Union because i don`t have a Paypal acount
and is muck easy.I will shipp via UPS EXPRESS AIR and arrive in 2 days.if
you are agree reply me soon for more details or info.
I must tell you that i'm a honest man.. I have a wife and I have two
childrens.. One boy and one girl (Maria and Alexander).. I have a question
for you: Do you think that I will risk my freedom going to jail for your
money ?! I'm sorry but I will not do that because I have childrens to grow
up !

I have a proposition for you: You will go to any Western Union agency and
you will send the money my address ! You will put a secret question and a
secret answer to your money ! In that way I can't pick up the money !

You will e-mail me with your full name and address and I will go right to
UPS to ship you the package ! I will contact you with the UPS scaned paper
and that alows you to see that the package has been sent already to your
address !The only way in that we can close this deal is Western Union !
Don't forget that I can't pick up your money without my address and

without
the secret question and the secret answer.I will wait your mail with

your
decision.

Respects
John
----------------------------------------
My reply:

How do I know that you won't just take the money and run away? I heard

from
friends that people often offer deals outside of eBay, ask for money by
Western Union, and then disappear, never to return. They also speak

broken
English because they're from a country in which English isn't the primary
language (Mr. Matthews would enjoy that, huh? lol)

Did I mention that I'm an honest man too? I work 3 jobs, 120 hours per
week, and I have 18 kids to feed. I also have 5 wives, but that's besides
the point. Anyways, I work my ass off dealing crack and heroin... I need
this bike for transportation. Granted, I like to jump off of buildings

too,
but the cops probably dont' care about the bike jumping compared to the

drug
trafficking.

Anyways, despite all the obvious warning signs that this is a scam, I

think
I'll buy this bike from you. I will have the secret message and password
ready for you by tomorrow. I'm sending you $328,315,342,682,231.22 by
Western Union to the address you gave me. Of course I only have $168 in

my
bank account, but since I'll be scamming you, I'm sure you won't mind.

Thanks for doing business with me!

Phil, Squid-in-Training
---------------------------------------
His reply:

Hi there,
The bike cost 800USd including the shipping taxes and all

insurances.I`m
not aa scammer.l m not a scammer.So email me your decision.
Respects
John
---------------------------------------
My reply:

Alright. I'll buy your bike! I've sent out the money order for $2

billion
dollars (say it like, "Two beeeeeleeeyon dollars" for maximum effect) to

the
Portugal address. The secret password question is: "Who?" and the answer
me, "Me!"

You wouldn't happen to live in Singapore, would you?

I am an FBI agent (You've watched those Hollywood government conspiracy
movies, where the innocent scammer was taken to the secluded area where
nobody could hear his screams as they disembowled him and such, right?).

So
basically, I'm going to kick your little patootie to "Federal
Pound-me-in-the-ass prison." Hmm... another cultural reference you might
not know. Oh wait, it's from a scamming movie, so maybe you've seen it!
Problem is, you probably have virtually no idea what I'm talking about or
what I'm saying to you, so the point is moot.

Do you know what the penalties for fraud are in Singapore? Yeah...

neither
do I, but that's ok. I'm sure they rip off your testicles regardless of

the
offense.

Have a nice day! :-)
---------------------------------------


--
Phil, Squid-in-Training





  #7  
Old February 5th 04, 06:52 PM
Jonesy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Beware of eBay scammers, but you're all too damn smart anyways... (long)

"ZeeExSixAre" wrote in message ...
So here's the background story. I bid on a Kona Dawg just for fun to feel
out for the reserve. Lo and behold, a scammer that saw that I bid on it
offered me a new 2004 for $800 shipped. Here is how it went (skip through
the long section that he writes, but read all my stuff):


Freakin' hilarious.

Good job.
--
Jonesy
 




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