Tosser

On Fri, 22 Apr 2005 13:04:16 +0100, Tony Raven
wrote:

1. Shot him
2. Burn the body
3. That is all.

Surely step 3 is "Hide the evidence"?

But no! It should be displayed on a gibbet pour encourager les
autres.

How do you display ashes on a gibbet?

You need an unusually hot fire to reduce a human body to ashes.

Guy
--
May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

88% of helmet statistics are made up, 65% of them at CHS, Puget Sound

"Tony W" wrote in message
...

If it is a regular occurance then plod better bloody take it seriously
and,
as a minimum, pop round and feel his collar -- with a significant lecture
on
acceptable behaviour and threats of keeping a very close eye on him. What
is the odds that, if they pulled him over after chucking out time, he
might
find his licence in peril?


I seriously hope plod does have a strong word in the shell-like of the
driver. I was thinking to myself that as the mother of a teenage son who
will be wanting to learn to drive when he's 17 later this year, that as and
when he passes his driving test he already *knows* what I'd do if he ever
drove like a lunatic. What plod could do would pale into insignificance as
to the Wrath Of The Mother From Hell... so I'm hoping that being a cyclist
and knowing the dangers stupid ******* driving cars can be, that he won't
turn into a stupid tosser once he's passed his driving test. One can but
hope.


On the positive side, at WW I discovered that this week I have managed to
lose 4.5lbs, bringing my total weight loss since middle of December 04 to
57lbs, or 4st 1lb :-)

Yep -- you must be a mite narrower in the hips now!!


Multidinous inches narrower

You're positively wasting away.

Alas not - still overweight and not yet in the healthy weight range for
height yet.

Cheers, helen s


T

On Thu, 21 Apr 2005 20:04:47 +0100, wafflycat wrote:


I don't suppose you know how to fit an Exocet missile launcher
to my handlebars?

Do you have any contacts in the US Air Force? They have a squadron of A10
"Tankbusters" in East Anglia at the moment. One of those should make
short work of a Nova/Saxo/Whatever. OTOH you might not want all that
depleted uranium lying around afterwards...


Mike

On Fri, 22 Apr 2005 15:42:54 +0100 someone who may be "wafflycat"
wafflesATv21netDOTcoDOTuk wrote this:-

so I'm hoping that being a cyclist
and knowing the dangers stupid ******* driving cars can be, that he won't
turn into a stupid tosser once he's passed his driving test. One can but
hope.

Well, most of us do stupid things from time to time, especially at
that sort of age. Hopefully he will not do something really stupid,
but rather it will just be embarrassing for all.

Yep -- you must be a mite narrower in the hips now!!

Multidinous inches narrower

Show off:-)


--
David Hansen, Edinburgh | PGP email preferred-key number F566DA0E
I will always explain revoked keys, unless the UK government
prevents me by using the RIP Act 2000.

On Fri, 22 Apr 2005 14:13:02 +0100, Tony W wrote:

acceptable behaviour and threats of keeping a very close eye on him. What
is the odds that, if they pulled him over after chucking out time, he might
find his licence in peril?

My first thoughts involved the revenge of him loosing his precious car. But
then, he might learn to ride a bicycle and I don't see why he should be
rewarded with the pleasures and benefits of cycling.

--
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np:
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wafflycat wrote:
that he won't turn into a stupid tosser once he's passed his driving
test. One can but hope.


Of course here lies part of the problem ....... people are not taught
how to drive, but only how to pass a driving test (pathetic test in any
case) Driving skills should be taught and 'earned' throughout the
learning stage with a 'record' on your licence when the skills have
been achieved. Re-Tests every 3 years would do us ALL good, but we as a
nation are happy to kill 3500 people a year with our cars ..... bottom
line really!

On Thu, 21 Apr 2005 21:49:19 +0100, David Hansen
wrote:

I don't suppose you know how to fit an Exocet missile launcher to my
handlebars?

A trifle heavy and the exhaust gases would not do much for the
hairdo.

Sounds like someone needs to revisit 'The Adventures of Spike Bike'
for inspiration.

On Fri, 22 Apr 2005 22:45:25 +0000, killermike
wrote:

My first thoughts involved the revenge of him loosing his precious car. But
then, he might learn to ride a bicycle and I don't see why he should be
rewarded with the pleasures and benefits of cycling.

In order to accommodate that essential chav accessory - the twelve
year old girlfriend - he'd need a tandem.

And an understanding twelve year old...

killermike wrote:

My first thoughts involved the revenge of him loosing his precious car. But
then, he might learn to ride a bicycle and I don't see why he should be
rewarded with the pleasures and benefits of cycling.


Hardwire Mantovani's Greatest Hits into his chavmobile stereo at full
volume and make him drive it round the streets with the windows down.

Tony