Cyclists Boycott Assos

Fans of American cyclist Levi Leipheimer are boycotting the Swiss company
Assos. Company officials announced to investors today that their first
quarter 2008 earnings would fall well below analysts' expectations as a
result. "Stockpiles of XL, XLG and TIR sized goods are building and if they
continue at this pace will bring tremendous pressure to our balance sheet,"
an unnamed Assos official said. "This is serious."

"Leipheimer's fans are an enthusiastic, if uninformed, lot," said industry
analyst Handel Barr. "They are upset Levi won't be allowed to start this
year's Tour de France, but they seem to have confused Assos with the Amaury
Sports Organisation (ASO) who promote Le Tour. I can only speculate this is
because Assos and ASO both use the letters A, S, O exclusively in their
names, are connected to cycling in some fashion and are European."

News of the crisis has prompted the Swiss government to try and intercede on
Assos' behalf.

"We're having trouble even starting talks. We tried to contact the boycott
leaders through the 'Let Levi Ride' website, but the people there were
unfamiliar with the boycott. They did offer us a 'pro deal' on some
Bontrager components. Unfortunately, the savings doesn't amount to more
than a pair of Fl.13 S5 bid shorts," said government spokesman Willelmus de
Fruentia. "As it stands", he continued,"the war between the ASO and the UCI
will be the only European war that hasn't made Switzerland money. That
would be embarrassing to have happen on our watch, no pun intended".

On Mar 15, 4:27 am, "TM" wrote:
Fans of American cyclist Levi Leipheimer are boycotting the Swiss company
Assos. Company officials announced to investors today that their first
quarter 2008 earnings would fall well below analysts' expectations as a
result. "Stockpiles of XL, XLG and TIR sized goods are building and if they
continue at this pace will bring tremendous pressure to our balance sheet,"
an unnamed Assos official said. "This is serious."

"Leipheimer's fans are an enthusiastic, if uninformed, lot," said industry
analyst Handel Barr. "They are upset Levi won't be allowed to start this
year's Tour de France, but they seem to have confused Assos with the Amaury
Sports Organisation (ASO) who promote Le Tour. I can only speculate this is
because Assos and ASO both use the letters A, S, O exclusively in their
names, are connected to cycling in some fashion and are European."

News of the crisis has prompted the Swiss government to try and intercede on
Assos' behalf.

"We're having trouble even starting talks. We tried to contact the boycott
leaders through the 'Let Levi Ride' website, but the people there were
unfamiliar with the boycott. They did offer us a 'pro deal' on some
Bontrager components. Unfortunately, the savings doesn't amount to more
than a pair of Fl.13 S5 bid shorts," said government spokesman Willelmus de
Fruentia. "As it stands", he continued,"the war between the ASO and the UCI
will be the only European war that hasn't made Switzerland money. That
would be embarrassing to have happen on our watch, no pun intended".

Hmmm...is this for real? It smells like a hoax to me.

On Sat, 15 Mar 2008 07:27:58 -0700 (PDT), bobcullinan
wrote:

On Mar 15, 4:27 am, "TM" wrote:
Fans of American cyclist Levi Leipheimer are boycotting the Swiss company
Assos. Company officials announced to investors today that their first
quarter 2008 earnings would fall well below analysts' expectations as a
result. "Stockpiles of XL, XLG and TIR sized goods are building and if they
continue at this pace will bring tremendous pressure to our balance sheet,"
an unnamed Assos official said. "This is serious."

"Leipheimer's fans are an enthusiastic, if uninformed, lot," said industry
analyst Handel Barr. "They are upset Levi won't be allowed to start this
year's Tour de France, but they seem to have confused Assos with the Amaury
Sports Organisation (ASO) who promote Le Tour. I can only speculate this is
because Assos and ASO both use the letters A, S, O exclusively in their
names, are connected to cycling in some fashion and are European."

News of the crisis has prompted the Swiss government to try and intercede on
Assos' behalf.

"We're having trouble even starting talks. We tried to contact the boycott
leaders through the 'Let Levi Ride' website, but the people there were
unfamiliar with the boycott. They did offer us a 'pro deal' on some
Bontrager components. Unfortunately, the savings doesn't amount to more
than a pair of Fl.13 S5 bid shorts," said government spokesman Willelmus de
Fruentia. "As it stands", he continued,"the war between the ASO and the UCI
will be the only European war that hasn't made Switzerland money. That
would be embarrassing to have happen on our watch, no pun intended".

Hmmm...is this for real? It smells like a hoax to me.

I dunno, I just skimmed it. Never realized there was an ASO/Assos
connection but I guess it makes sense. No Assos for me.

On Mar 15, 2:36*pm, John Forrest Tomlinson
wrote:
On Sat, 15 Mar 2008 07:27:58 -0700 (PDT), bobcullinan





wrote:
On Mar 15, 4:27 am, "TM" wrote:
Fans of American cyclist Levi Leipheimer are boycotting the Swiss company
Assos. *Company officials announced to investors today that their first
quarter 2008 earnings would fall well below analysts' expectations as a
result. *"Stockpiles of XL, XLG and TIR sized goods are building and if they
continue at this pace will bring tremendous pressure to our balance sheet,"
an unnamed Assos official said. "This is serious."

"Leipheimer's fans are an enthusiastic, if uninformed, lot," said industry
analyst Handel Barr. *"They are upset Levi won't be allowed to start this
year's Tour de France, but they seem to have confused Assos with the Amaury
Sports Organisation (ASO) who promote Le Tour. *I can only speculate this is
because Assos and ASO both use the letters A, S, O exclusively in their
names, are connected to cycling in some fashion and are European."

News of the crisis has prompted the Swiss government to try and intercede on
Assos' behalf.

"We're having trouble even starting talks. *We tried to contact the boycott
leaders through the 'Let Levi Ride' website, but the people there were
unfamiliar with the boycott. *They did offer us a 'pro deal' on some
Bontrager components. *Unfortunately, the savings doesn't amount to more
than a pair of Fl.13 S5 bid shorts," said government spokesman Willelmus de
Fruentia. *"As it stands", he continued,"the war between the ASO and the UCI
will be the only European war that hasn't made Switzerland money. *That
would be embarrassing to have happen on our watch, no pun intended".

Hmmm...is this for real? It smells like a hoax to me.

I dunno, I just skimmed it. Never realized there was an ASO/Assos
connection but I guess it makes sense. *No Assos for me.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

They must all be gay too, and we KNOW that's totally evil, since
there's "ass" in there so we must boycott them.
Bill C

John Forrest Tomlinson wrote:
I dunno, I just skimmed it. Never realized there was an ASO/Assos
connection but I guess it makes sense. Â*No Assos for me.- Hide quoted
text -

Bill C wrote:
They must all be gay too, and we KNOW that's totally evil, since there's
"ass" in there so we must boycott them.

Which implies they must be liberals, which in turn implies there is a
liberal plot to sell svelte bib shorts to fat fatty masters to make them
look bad.

On Mar 15, 1:21*pm, Donald Munro wrote:
John Forrest Tomlinson wrote:
I dunno, I just skimmed it. Never realized there was an ASO/Assos
connection but I guess it makes sense. *No Assos for me.- Hide quoted
text -
Bill C wrote:
They must all be gay too, and we KNOW that's totally evil, since there's
"ass" in there so we must boycott them.

Which implies they must be liberals, which in turn implies there is a
liberal plot to sell svelte bib shorts to fat fatty masters to make them
look bad.

ASSOS very Scary outfit:

I've always been a bit suspect about Assos ever since
the 1978 World track championship in Munich.

That was when Toni Maier-Moussa and Hans Hess
brought out the very first anatomical skin suit that was
worn by Daniel Gisiger.

Toni Maier-Moussa had been doing funny stuff at the
Zurich Technical University with carbon fiber back
about then, and the US Department of Defense was
going to shut that experiment down but sadly never did.

In article
,
bobcullinan wrote:

On Mar 15, 4:27 am, "TM" wrote:
Fans of American cyclist Levi Leipheimer are boycotting the Swiss company
Assos. Company officials announced to investors today that their first
quarter 2008 earnings would fall well below analysts' expectations as a
result. "Stockpiles of XL, XLG and TIR sized goods are building and if they
continue at this pace will bring tremendous pressure to our balance sheet,"
an unnamed Assos official said. "This is serious."

"Leipheimer's fans are an enthusiastic, if uninformed, lot," said industry
analyst Handel Barr. "They are upset Levi won't be allowed to start this
year's Tour de France, but they seem to have confused Assos with the Amaury
Sports Organisation (ASO) who promote Le Tour. I can only speculate this is
because Assos and ASO both use the letters A, S, O exclusively in their
names, are connected to cycling in some fashion and are European."

News of the crisis has prompted the Swiss government to try and intercede on
Assos' behalf.

"We're having trouble even starting talks. We tried to contact the boycott
leaders through the 'Let Levi Ride' website, but the people there were
unfamiliar with the boycott. They did offer us a 'pro deal' on some
Bontrager components. Unfortunately, the savings doesn't amount to more
than a pair of Fl.13 S5 bid shorts," said government spokesman Willelmus de
Fruentia. "As it stands", he continued,"the war between the ASO and the UCI
will be the only European war that hasn't made Switzerland money. That
would be embarrassing to have happen on our watch, no pun intended".

Hmmm...is this for real? It smells like a hoax to me.

NSS

--
Michael Press

On Sat, 15 Mar 2008 22:21:31 +0200, Donald Munro
wrote:

John Forrest Tomlinson wrote:
I dunno, I just skimmed it. Never realized there was an ASO/Assos
connection but I guess it makes sense. *No Assos for me.- Hide quoted
text -

Bill C wrote:
They must all be gay too, and we KNOW that's totally evil, since there's
"ass" in there so we must boycott them.

Which implies they must be liberals, which in turn implies there is a
liberal plot to sell svelte bib shorts to fat fatty masters to make them
look bad.

Assos sounds sort French too, and I'm not wearing French Shorts.
Freedom shorts for me. These colors don't runnn!!!!!

On Mar 15, 3:59*pm, John Forrest Tomlinson
wrote:

Assos sounds sort French too, and I'm not wearing French Shorts.
Freedom shorts for me. *These colors don't runnn!!!!!

Hey, lighten up.

They got sick with Dien Bien Flu over in Indochina and
I think ran into some bad weather.

On Mar 15, 6:59*pm, John Forrest Tomlinson
wrote:
On Sat, 15 Mar 2008 22:21:31 +0200, Donald Munro

wrote:
John Forrest Tomlinson wrote:
I dunno, I just skimmed it. Never realized there was an ASO/Assos
connection but I guess it makes sense. *No Assos for me.- Hide quoted
text -

Bill C wrote:
They must all be gay too, and we KNOW that's totally evil, since there's
"ass" in there so we must boycott them.

Which implies they must be liberals, which in turn implies there is a
liberal plot to sell svelte bib shorts to fat fatty masters to make them
look bad.

Assos sounds sort French too, and I'm not wearing French Shorts.
Freedom shorts for me. *These colors don't runnn!!!!!

Glad to see you getting with the program. Have some "freedom fries".
Make sure you listen to Rush on monday so you know what to think for
the week though.
Bill C
Bill C