Today's hearty laugh...excerpt of The Curse of Lono

Thought the group might get a chuckle out of this, from the first chapter

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Hunter S. Thompson
c/o General Delivery
Woody Creek, CO

Dear Hunter:
To keep a potential screed down to a few lines, we would like you
to cover the Honolulu Marathon. We will pay all expenses and an excellent
fee. Please contact us.
Think about it. This is a good chance for a vacation.
Sincerely,

Executive Editor,
Running Magazine

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October 25, 1980
Owl Farm
Dear Ralph (Ralph Steadman, noted gonzo illustrator/cartoonist),
I think we have a live one this time, old sport. Some dingbat named
Perry up in Oregon wants to give us a month in Hawaii for Christmas and all
we have to do is cover the Honolulu Marathon for his magazine, a thing
called Running. . .
Yeah, I know what you're thinking, Ralph. You're pacing around over
there in the war room at the Old Loose Court and thinking, "Why me? And why
now? Just when I'm getting respectable?"
Well. . . let's face it, Ralph; anybody can be respectable,
especially in England. But not everybody can get paid to run like a *******
for 26 miles in some maniac hype race called the Honolulu Marathon.
We are both entered in this event, Ralph, and I feel pretty
confident about winning. We will need a bit of training, but not much.
The main thing will be to run as an entry and set a killer pace for
the first three miles. These body-nazis have been training all year for the
supreme effort in this Super Bowl of marathons. The promoters expect 10,000
entrants, and the course is 26 miles; which means they will all start slow.
.. . because 26 miles is a hell of a long way to run, for any reason at all,
and all the pros in this field will start slow and pace themselves very
carefully for the first 20 miles.
But not us, Ralph. We will come out of the blocks like human
torpedoes and alter the whole nature of the race by sprinting the first
three miles shoulder-to-shoulder in under 10 minutes.
A pace like that will crack their nuts, Ralph. These people are
into running, not racing -- so our strategy will be to race like
whorehounds for the first three miles. I figure we can crank ourselves up
to a level of frenzy that will clock about 9:55 at the three-mile
checkpoint. . . which will put us so far ahead of the field that they won't
even be able to see us. We will be over the hill and all alone when we hit
the stretch along Ala Moana Boulevard still running shoulder-to-shoulder at
a pace so fast and crazy that not even the judges will feel sane about it.
.. . and the rest of the field will be left so far behind that many will be
overcome with blind rage and confusion.
====================

Badger South wrote:
: Thought the group might get a chuckle out of this, from the first chapter

that was great. thanks,
--
david reuteler