OT- but very funny

The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is,
of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state

that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since
there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With
birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in

Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are

added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until
all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
my
Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with

you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,

then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and
has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct.........leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a

divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh
my
God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A+

Sniper8052


--
Sniper8052

A different ending to the one I have......

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls
are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world
today.
Some of these religions state that if you are not of their religion you will
go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since
people
do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, if we look at
the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of
Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.

(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell
breaks loose.

(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Miss Therese Banyan during my
Fresh-man year that "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with
you," and
take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual
relations
with her, then2) cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic."



The student got the only A.

--
kitemap
http://ugcc.co.uk

Sniper8052 wrote:
Hell.

Funny - but not true.

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

--
Geek Made Easy - http://www.geekmadeeasy.com/
We're geeks so you don't have to be

But, what has this got to do with cycling ?

Can't you find a newsgroup to suit ?

AH

"Sniper8052" wrote in
message ...

The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is,
of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state

that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since
there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With
birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in

Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are

added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until
all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
my
Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with

you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,

then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and
has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct.........leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a

divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh
my
God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A+

Sniper8052


--
Sniper8052

Response to Andy Howes:
But, what has this got to do with cycling ?

Can't you find a newsgroup to suit ?

The "OT" in the title stands for "off-topic"; any group of people who
have one subject in common will occasionally raise off-topic matters, and
experienced Usenet users shouldn't be too bothered by it, IMHO.

If there's anything else you need to know, e.g. what top-posting is, or
when to snip posts, you only have to ask. In fact, round here, you
probably won't even have to ask. ;-)

--
Mark, UK.
We hope to hear him swear, we love to hear him squeak,
We like to see him biting fingers in his horny beak.

"Andy Howes" wrote in message
...
But, what has this got to do with cycling ?

Can't you find a newsgroup to suit ?

AH

Sorry but this is a newsgroup of cycling enthusiasts who also enjoy a good
joke or discussion of any topic no matter what they relate to. So keep up
the OT stuff and you find a newsgroup to suit your anal retentive attitude

Woody

Andy Howes wrote:

But, what has this got to do with cycling ?

Can't you find a newsgroup to suit ?

Ah, just what u.r.c needed. A clueless top-posting newbie net.cop.
That's quite an impressive start you've made there in only 2 posts!

James
--
If I have seen further than others, it is
by treading on the toes of giants.
http://www.ne.jp/asahi/julesandjames/home/

James Annan wrote:
Ah, just what u.r.c needed. A clueless top-posting newbie net.cop.
That's quite an impressive start you've made there in only 2 posts!

I'm almost starting to feel sorry for the guy. I hope that he feels
very embarrassed the next time he reads urc - because it's either that
or he'll turn out to be one of those people who'll waste our time for
the next two weeks swearing that black is white.

Although a little Googling reveals that he's not actually a newbie. He
posted twice in July, and for all we know he may have been lurking for
months.

--
Danny Colyer (the UK company has been laughed out of my reply address)
URL:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/danny/
"He who dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine

Andy Howes wrote:

But, what has this got to do with cycling ?
Can't you find a newsgroup to suit ?

I think you are looking for alt.humourless.gits

HTH, HAND etc.

--
Guy

"Just zis Guy, you know?" whizzed past me
shouting

HTH, HAND etc.

This group could do with more jokes, especially ones that border on the
topic, but with so much traffic it'd be easy to miss them.

Can we train people to mark them in the subject line (eg "Joke - naked
offroad unicyclist") or would that be too bureaucratic for people here?

--
Sue ];(

What goes down must come up again - Confucius' Law of Mountain Biking