Bicycling and Divorce

On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote:
Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on
spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are
divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that
circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no"
to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step
further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively
and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a
time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates
problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a
demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but
with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a
novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to
make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to
tension.

Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension,
disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use
cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division?

I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results.

[Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant
observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the
experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you
who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my
business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.]

It works MUCH better than therapy. But then I tend to take everything in stride and others may not have the same reaction.

On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote:
Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on
spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are
divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that
circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no"
to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step
further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively
and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a
time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates
problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a
demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but
with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a
novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to
make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to
tension.

Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension,
disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use
cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division?

I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results.

[Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant
observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the
experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you
who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my
business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.]

So you have a partner and you want to this and she wants to do that
and you can't agree....

Sounds like two small kids playing in the sand box and they both want
ALL the toys.

Grow up a bit.

"F.K." wrote in message ...

On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote:
Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on
spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are
divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that
circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no"
to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step
further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively
and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a
time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates
problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a
demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but
with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a
novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to
make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to
tension.

Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension,
disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use
cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division?

I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results.

[Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant
observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the
experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you
who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my
business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.]

We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much
do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take
anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married!

Ed Dolan the Great

On Tue, 4 Dec 2012 00:07:51 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

"F.K." wrote in message ...

On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote:
Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on
spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are
divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that
circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no"
to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step
further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively
and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a
time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates
problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a
demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but
with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a
novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to
make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to
tension.

Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension,
disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use
cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division?

I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results.

[Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant
observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the
experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you
who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my
business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.]

We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much
do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take
anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married!

Ed Dolan the Great


The guy ain't even married and already he's got problems :-)
--
Cheers,
John B.

"John B." wrote in message
...

On Tue, 4 Dec 2012 00:07:51 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much
do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take
anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married!

Ed Dolan the Great

The guy ain't even married and already he's got problems :-)

Not everyone in the world is lucky enough to be NOT married like me.
However, the subject of this thread is interesting as I have known several
men who were into cycling and whose wives divorced them. The men were taking
their vacations doing week long bike tours without their wives. I think
separate vacations are almost always a sign of trouble ahead.

Men who like to bicycle and who want to stay married should not take
separate week long bike tours for their summer vacation. Either convince the
wife to come along or else forget about it.

Ed Dolan the Great

On Thu, 6 Dec 2012 11:54:04 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

"John B." wrote in message
.. .

On Tue, 4 Dec 2012 00:07:51 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much
do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take
anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married!

Ed Dolan the Great

The guy ain't even married and already he's got problems :-)

Not everyone in the world is lucky enough to be NOT married like me.
However, the subject of this thread is interesting as I have known several
men who were into cycling and whose wives divorced them. The men were taking
their vacations doing week long bike tours without their wives. I think
separate vacations are almost always a sign of trouble ahead.

Men who like to bicycle and who want to stay married should not take
separate week long bike tours for their summer vacation. Either convince the
wife to come along or else forget about it.

Ed Dolan the Great

I don't know. I've been married twice and to be frank, bicycle riding
was never a problem in either marriage. I currently ride about 20 Km
in the mornings, several times a week, and on Sunday do a 4 - 5 hour
"long ride" and my wife has never complained.

However, in both marriages there was always a bike available if the
wife wanted to ride so it was always a matter of "if you want to
come".

And on the other hand, I don't know why a bloke would be married and
NOT want to take his wife on his vacation :-)
--
Cheers,
John B.

= Brian D. Potter
For instance, we have a demonstration ride here in my home
town--not Critical Mass stuff, but with a "We ARE Traffic"
mentality.

=v= Imagine that, a "mentality" that happens to be traffic law
in all 50 states. :^)

=v= Critical Mass, in same way or another, was behind my meeting
nearly every girlfriend for the last 20 years. That doesn't
mean every relationship with a biker has worked, nor that the
bike was responsible for the ones that didn't.

Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger,
tension, disappointment?

=
It works MUCH better than therapy.

=v= Emotions in the light of divorce are situational, rather
than an inherent imbalance in chemistry to be treated with e.g.
antidepressants, so cycling can address the emotional states
just by producing endorphins.

=v= Therapy that works to identify underlying motivations and
unconscious behavior patterns that interfere with relationships
could be a greater improvement in the long run, though it's not
easy to find a competent relationship therapist. Currently the
track record of most therapies is no better than no therapy at
all (but indentifying these things may still be what you want).
_Jym_