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Bicycling and Divorce
On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote:
Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no" to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to tension. Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension, disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division? I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results. [Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.] It works MUCH better than therapy. But then I tend to take everything in stride and others may not have the same reaction. |
#2
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Bicycling and Divorce
On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote: Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no" to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to tension. Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension, disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division? I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results. [Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.] So you have a partner and you want to this and she wants to do that and you can't agree.... Sounds like two small kids playing in the sand box and they both want ALL the toys. Grow up a bit. |
#3
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Bicycling and Divorce
"F.K." wrote in message ...
On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote: Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no" to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to tension. Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension, disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division? I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results. [Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.] We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married! Ed Dolan the Great |
#4
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Bicycling and Divorce
On Tue, 4 Dec 2012 00:07:51 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote: "F.K." wrote in message ... On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote: Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no" to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to tension. Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension, disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division? I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results. [Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.] We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married! Ed Dolan the Great The guy ain't even married and already he's got problems :-) -- Cheers, John B. |
#5
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Bicycling and Divorce
"John B." wrote in message
... On Tue, 4 Dec 2012 00:07:51 -0600, "Edward Dolan" wrote: We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married! Ed Dolan the Great The guy ain't even married and already he's got problems :-) Not everyone in the world is lucky enough to be NOT married like me. However, the subject of this thread is interesting as I have known several men who were into cycling and whose wives divorced them. The men were taking their vacations doing week long bike tours without their wives. I think separate vacations are almost always a sign of trouble ahead. Men who like to bicycle and who want to stay married should not take separate week long bike tours for their summer vacation. Either convince the wife to come along or else forget about it. Ed Dolan the Great |
#6
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Bicycling and Divorce
On Thu, 6 Dec 2012 11:54:04 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote: "John B." wrote in message .. . On Tue, 4 Dec 2012 00:07:51 -0600, "Edward Dolan" wrote: We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married! Ed Dolan the Great The guy ain't even married and already he's got problems :-) Not everyone in the world is lucky enough to be NOT married like me. However, the subject of this thread is interesting as I have known several men who were into cycling and whose wives divorced them. The men were taking their vacations doing week long bike tours without their wives. I think separate vacations are almost always a sign of trouble ahead. Men who like to bicycle and who want to stay married should not take separate week long bike tours for their summer vacation. Either convince the wife to come along or else forget about it. Ed Dolan the Great I don't know. I've been married twice and to be frank, bicycle riding was never a problem in either marriage. I currently ride about 20 Km in the mornings, several times a week, and on Sunday do a 4 - 5 hour "long ride" and my wife has never complained. However, in both marriages there was always a bike available if the wife wanted to ride so it was always a matter of "if you want to come". And on the other hand, I don't know why a bloke would be married and NOT want to take his wife on his vacation :-) -- Cheers, John B. |
#7
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Bicycling and Divorce
= Brian D. Potter
For instance, we have a demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. =v= Imagine that, a "mentality" that happens to be traffic law in all 50 states. :^) =v= Critical Mass, in same way or another, was behind my meeting nearly every girlfriend for the last 20 years. That doesn't mean every relationship with a biker has worked, nor that the bike was responsible for the ones that didn't. Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension, disappointment? = It works MUCH better than therapy. =v= Emotions in the light of divorce are situational, rather than an inherent imbalance in chemistry to be treated with e.g. antidepressants, so cycling can address the emotional states just by producing endorphins. =v= Therapy that works to identify underlying motivations and unconscious behavior patterns that interfere with relationships could be a greater improvement in the long run, though it's not easy to find a competent relationship therapist. Currently the track record of most therapies is no better than no therapy at all (but indentifying these things may still be what you want). _Jym_ |
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