'Real' Clown noses?

Well, now I did it.

I didn't like my old clown costume, so I picked up a new one. Picturing
playing around in the driveway this hallowe'en, tossing out candy.

Well, then it dawned on me...since I wore the suit last, I have learned
to juggle.

Now I think that I 'may as well' have an emergency clown suit.

All the haloween clown noses are uncomfotable and fall off. What to
real clowns use? Where do you get them?

Thanks


--
Sofa - No Transit Like London Transit!

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What I use (or used, when I last used it) was a sponge ball with a slit
cut in it. You can get sponge balls at magic shops. But then again, you
can usually get clown noses at magic shops. So I can't help you.


--
James_Potter - Rubiks Cube CHAMPION (almost)

-Give a man a match and he'll be warm for an hour. Set a man on fire and
he'll be warm for life.-
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Try 'McCulloch's' (www.mccullochs.on.ca) on Dundas, west of Highbury.
659-3787


--
spyder - Go Leafs Go!

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Thanks, spyder, that sounds like a perfect place.

Too bad you're such an oxymoron


--
Sofa - No Transit Like London Transit!

'why doesnt kris holm ride street?' - Unibrow
'isn't that like asking why tiger woods doesn't play putt-putt?' -
GILD
'hey! i finally made it into someone's sig line! '- GILD
' ' -Spyder (he doesn't say much, but I felt he should make it into
the sig line as well)
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Hey, you said ITEMNO530 was only half right. What's an "OXY"?


--
spyder - Go Leafs Go!

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Sofa wrote:
*
Too bad you're such an oxymoron *


Me or Spyder?
And I thought we had already discussed that Billy Mays was the
oxymoron.


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Sofa's referring to me. I think.


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spyder - Go Leafs Go!

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James_Potter wrote:
*

Me or Spyder?
*


Not you.

What about Billy-Dee Williams?


--
Sofa - No Transit Like London Transit!

'why doesnt kris holm ride street?' - Unibrow
'isn't that like asking why tiger woods doesn't play putt-putt?' -
GILD
'hey! i finally made it into someone's sig line! '- GILD
' ' -Spyder (he doesn't say much, but I felt he should make it into
the sig line as well)
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Hi Sofa,
When I play a clown, I use a Blinking Red Nose. It is really a "Rudolph
the Red Nose Raindeer" nose, but I use it for my clown nose. Works
really well.

It is sort of heavy, but you rarely notice it while riding. However,
the crowd, especially in a night-time parade, can really see your
glowing nose. My Rudolph nose is held on by a very thin bunge cord that
goes over the ears, and around the back of your head. --chirokid--


--
chirokid

"That wascally wabbit wan off with a wobble of one wheelers" E. Fud
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Of course, clowns and unicycles are two entirely unrelated phenomena,
and should remain so.

However, 'proper' clowns don't wear 'clamp on' or 'stick on' plastic or
foam noses. They mould a nose on with a 'clay' or 'putty' like
substance.

It is possible to buy a special 'clay' from a theatrical supplier.
However, a good substitute is lard, mixed with red cayenne pepper for
the colourant. This is the traditional solution used by real clowns,
but it can cause problems for the amateur who does not have the
advantage of circus inbreeding. A clown from one of the traditional
circus families is likely to have up to 47% fewer capillaries in the
proboscal epidermis.

So for an amateur, the combination of covering the pores on the nose,
and applying cayenne pepper, can result in the nose over heating. Not
only is this uncomfortable, but the heat generated can be sufficient to
melt the lard, causing it to distort and slip own towards the chin.
This is the historical origin of the rather strange shape of Mr. Punch's
face in Punch & Judy shows.

Traditionally, clowns were able to cope with this, partly by the reduced
capillary density mentioned above, and partly by only performing in big
cold draughty tents, or in street parades, where it normally rains.
This may not be sufficient for an amateur.

However, if you are unicycling, you can add the wind chill factor. This
is proportional to the square of your airspeed, so if you opt to use the
lard and cayenne pepper moulded nose, ensure that you ride at a brisk
speed.

Of course, you might say that riding fast can be counterproductive
because it generates additional heat from metabolism, and you'd be
right. So ride a big wheel like a Coker, as this has less rolling
resistance, meaning you get the maximum speed (and cooling effect) for
minimum effort (and metabolism).

You will note that those few clowns who actually use unicycles tend to
ride giraffes. The additional height helps with cooling, because
temperature falls with altitude.

The maths gets complicated (Klaas Bil may be able to help here) but the
consensus seems to be that unicycling and clowning should be kept
separate at all times. Imagine the chaos if your lard nose melts and
part of it drops onto the tyre. An emergency stop could result in a
lengthy skid, possibly causing injury to the rider and members of the
public.


--
Mikefule - Roland Hope School of Unicycling

Freedom's just another word for nothing much to lose. Nothing ain't
worth nothing, but it's free.
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