zen and the art of unicycle maintenance

bloody romans
+++

david bowie
'the man who sold the world'
+++

press play will ya jenny


+++

spoke too soon
i hadnt been talkin to th girl
who matchmaked me
last time

little brother fronted me this afternoon
they're borrowing his land rover for th weekend

will i drive it there tomorrow ?


hmmm


+++

yur insane ppl
u really wanna take a landie ?

+++
laurie anderson
'example #22'
+++

i waited for th sun
to
well and truly go down

a fine summer's day

it's ****in spring



jumped on th unicycle
and had a wee fly to th shop
for milk

you can get ****ed bitch
and coffee


get out of my head


i get to th ****in hsop

my usual brand

pauls

one litre

out of stock


arrrghhhhh

+++
lo tel
'teenager of the year'
+++

so i bought
smarter milk

yeah right

+++


smoke some drugs
shake my head

+++


gone to drinkin
coffee

white

or
black


**** hey


same for tea


does all my life have to be about

balance

+++

"sorry paulie"
"singin harmonies"

+++

not goin strete singin
stay home

+++


here smoek these drugs

+++


i shouldnt have let her go singin
last weekend barbie girl

she's started singin in
inappropriate places again

+++
powderfinger
'a song called everything'
+++

hmmm


+++

"barbie girl told cottees to mellow out"
"which one of paulies personaities were ya talkin to ?"
"ah that;d explain it"

+++


we had a good giggle

+++


fortunatley
we all smoek drugs
so i aint alone


just a little more forward

+++

nominee
pack me a bong

..
..
..

when lees's nan
sat down at
th music jam
in th back yard

and started talkin threesomes

my mind went wandering


in fact
think i went into th music

+++


was playin th drum at th time

+++


bloody women
when ya dont want em
they;re ****in evrywhere

+++
powderfinger
'love your way'
+++


look

little jenny's mother

"she not first name jenny"
"little jenny that is"


ok


look


jenny
yellin at me
you cry yurself to sleep

that's pretty ****ty


but


stop intruding

we keep stoppin buyin


milk



little brother also



feelin th milk
embargo


i havent met you yet
stop tellin me what to do

+++


i would think it strange

but


th last mother

of one of my kids

put me thru


major psychic shock

+++


waddya ****in mean
you can feel it
when i masturbate about ya
you'll give me a complex ya psychic bitch

this relationship
is too ****in strange

it wont last

+++


"five years"


pls lord

not again

+++
deep purple
'child in time'
+++


last kid took me thru hell


said his name at conception


his mother and i

both felt




led







dont we get any choic ein this ****


namin himself at conception


announces his

day of birth

and time



to my mind

and i

articulate same

and


little ****er's born on th day


and


time






i get six months
kind of peace

pregnant
psychotic

psychic woman


and


my next child says


hi daddie




this not my mother



ah ****


+++

bobbie


barbie girl did like


hot dogs for lunch

sweet kuta lady




her sister
lees


puleld me aside

look paulei

i dyed all these shirts



purple



****ed up


with th tie die


shirt

barbie girl had doen for er



wow



ur fave song in all time man



and popped out of th mix tonight


i spoke to yur bbrother last night


as it happens



that;s where little brother is


tonight






yackin to brucie




he done again man

**** hey



that gotta be 14 dui's


****



i called him a wog
he called me a wog


we're both not wogs


funny as

+++

i' ll come and sit on yru grave
and smoke joints there again

when i forgive ya

for turnin ove htta joint


and takin all th big buds


yur supposed to be dead


couldnt find one

had to smoek leaf


you are a dead ****

+++


but i love ya

+++



last time
i sat down ont h bus seat

not ont h grass


and smoked a pleasant joint


and drank three bourbons



then went into town

and scared th **** out of anything i could find


on th unicycle



it was a full moon like


NO ****IN BRAKES

+++


maybe tomorrow purple
i'll give ya a call

+++

clogged hashpipe

+++

hey bobbie
goldtops and blue meanies

Smiel

+++

come and join us man
gunna be a fun night

+++

bloody shrooms

+++

ya never come back i say

+++
kylie minogue
'slow'
+++

i gotta say though

unicycling on mushrooms
is th weirdest
of th weird


tripping is



jump th gutter and

th gravel is

so huge today



where th **** am i going ?


automatics
get you up
and moving


dealing with it
once yur moving

is something else altogether

clsoe th eyes is th best

ride by th seat of th pants




till that


blows yur
trippin mind

open em back up


still in th middle of th road

still midnight

still upright and flying true on th uncicyle

still listening to kylie minogue's slow



and it stops abruptly

and ya go **** up


laughin all th way



gotta watch ya

dont get caught up in th rhythm

+++
sister2sister
'what's a girl to do'
+++


get really out of it and
have a ****in great time of course


..
..
..


"jenny"
+
paulie
=
the land surfer

+++

p.s.


get a big black dog up ya

+++

sorry for th confusion barbie girl
i do that to ppl

i dont do casual sex
and it's all casual sex

easier to go without
pls tell yur dad's girlfriend to shutup

+++

"you didnt say that"

+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'track no14'
+++

words to that effect
"she's my friend"
"**** off"
she talks to both of us

"true"

+++


"just a mirror for th sun"

+++


th last one put me thru hell
why should i do it again ?

"paulie"
i'm sick of fate


"what it is to be psychic"

+++
ms
'GEARUP'
+++
placebo
'english summer rain'
+++


"i wont accept th limitations of th body"
"we pass on copin mechanisms"
"pot and a unicycle"

"electro says we're safe"

animal

+++

"yeah but we have technology"
"electro ejaculation"
"and none of yur siblings go"
"grey on th floor"

reflex arcs

+++
coldplay
'high speed'
+++

it's not th mind
that learns to ride a unicycle

it's th body


th times dont add up
nerve speed

all muscles of th body
are involved


fluid
in motion

think







water



+++



swingin
th
milk and coffee and potato straws


whiel pedallin along

throw th weight forward

and th wheel accelerates


ride a bit further back
on th flywheel
and ride it's inertia


till th next

forward push



it's a big

balance area


you ride on a unicycle
with lots of secrets

+++


beautiful fly wheel

+++
nirvana
'polly'
+++

add for
fifty five degrees north
just hit th tube

hmmm



seriously


th balance zone of th unicycle

has accelerate flywheel

ride flywheel

and brake flywheel

settings



but no matter
how ya rid eit

up hill or down


you always
always


are riding








downhill





with th aid of gravity

unicycle zen...


zen and the art of unicycle maintenance
+++
bill hicks
'dinosaurs in the bible'