You're a real domestic PRO if...

Alright. Enough of the domestic pseudo pro vs real pro thing here on
rbr. In my new quest to enlighten rbr readers here I've compiled a
list so you can determine what constitutes a real pro vs a pretender
here in the US. Only used to determine domestic based teams racing
primarily a domestic schedule.

You're a real USPRO if:

1. You have 3 or more top 10s in an NRC road race in a season.
2. You have 3 or more top 3s in an NRC crit in a season.

PLUS any two of the following:

3. You have flown cross country at team expense (flight, hotel, food)
more than 3 times in a season for the same team. Europe counts for 2
cross-country flights.

4. You have 2 or more close friends racing on a Division 1 team in
Europe. (Must meet 4a & 4b)
(4a. "Close friend" means you have his home phone #, cell #, email, and
been to his house more than three times.)
(4b. When he answers the phone he doesn't ask who is calling)

5. You actually receive a check each month / quarter drawn from a team
checking account. (Must meet 5a & 5b)
(5a. The check is not a reimbursement for expenses)
(5b. The money represents the only income you receive)

6. You get an entire bike, team kit (including luggage & glasses)
before February 1st...for free.

7. You have ridden the front at an NRC stage race for 2 or more
consecutive days to protect a teammate's 1st or 2nd place lead.

8. Your name was mentioned in a non-advertiser sponsored article in the
Velo News print version.

9. You appeared in a Graham Watson photo that ran in the Velo News
print version (foreground or background).

10. You have been fined by the UCI.

11. One or more of your industry sponsors has used your name in an
advertisement.

Bonus: You don't use your drink sponsor's product on training rides

Disqualifications: If you meet any criteria below you are
automatically relegated to pseudo status:
1. You live with mom and dad.
2. You've ever uttered the words "Tom" and "Kunich" consecutively.

"Gorilla Critter" wrote in message
oups.com...
Alright. Enough of the domestic pseudo pro vs real pro thing here on
rbr. In my new quest to enlighten rbr readers here I've compiled a
list so you can determine what constitutes a real pro vs a pretender
here in the US. Only used to determine domestic based teams racing
primarily a domestic schedule.

You're a real USPRO if:

1. You have 3 or more top 10s in an NRC road race in a season.
2. You have 3 or more top 3s in an NRC crit in a season.

PLUS any two of the following:

3. You have flown cross country at team expense (flight, hotel, food)
more than 3 times in a season for the same team. Europe counts for 2
cross-country flights.

4. You have 2 or more close friends racing on a Division 1 team in
Europe. (Must meet 4a & 4b)
(4a. "Close friend" means you have his home phone #, cell #, email, and
been to his house more than three times.)
(4b. When he answers the phone he doesn't ask who is calling)

5. You actually receive a check each month / quarter drawn from a team
checking account. (Must meet 5a & 5b)
(5a. The check is not a reimbursement for expenses)
(5b. The money represents the only income you receive)

6. You get an entire bike, team kit (including luggage & glasses)
before February 1st...for free.

7. You have ridden the front at an NRC stage race for 2 or more
consecutive days to protect a teammate's 1st or 2nd place lead.

8. Your name was mentioned in a non-advertiser sponsored article in the
Velo News print version.

9. You appeared in a Graham Watson photo that ran in the Velo News
print version (foreground or background).

10. You have been fined by the UCI.

11. One or more of your industry sponsors has used your name in an
advertisement.

Bonus: You don't use your drink sponsor's product on training rides

Disqualifications: If you meet any criteria below you are
automatically relegated to pseudo status:
1. You live with mom and dad.
2. You've ever uttered the words "Tom" and "Kunich" consecutively.


That's weak.

Carl Sundquist wrote:


That's weak.

That's a surprise how? Consider the source. His results don't even
qualify him to carry Crit Pros jockstrap let alone yours.
BIll C

Bill C wrote:
Carl Sundquist wrote:


That's weak.

That's a surprise how? Consider the source. His results don't even
qualify him to carry Crit Pros jockstrap let alone yours.
BIll C

dumbass,

please don't use the "cycling ability gives you credibility" line of
reasoning, at least not on rbr, that belongs to pappy and kunich.


ps. the "are you a pro?" quiz has already been posted here befo

ref. http://www.soprojones.com/archives/FUN/pop_quiz.htm

Bill C wrote:
Carl Sundquist wrote:


That's weak.

That's a surprise how? Consider the source. His results don't even
qualify him to carry Crit Pros jockstrap let alone yours.
BIll C


hey pork chop, wipe the bbq sauce off your chin before you dis me.

On 19 Feb 2005 17:32:05 -0800, "Gorilla Critter"
wrote:

Alright. Enough of the domestic pseudo pro vs real pro thing here on
rbr. In my new quest to enlighten rbr readers here I've compiled a
list so you can determine what constitutes a real pro vs a pretender
here in the US. Only used to determine domestic based teams racing
primarily a domestic schedule.

You're a real USPRO if:
.... etc.

Note: 5b and 11 are in conflict. Need to work on that one. And does
the Tom and Kunich have to be uttered? What if they used it in an
email or post?

Curtis L. Russell
Odenton, MD (USA)
Just someone on two wheels...

"amit" wrote in message
oups.com...

Bill C wrote:
Carl Sundquist wrote:

That's weak.

That's a surprise how? Consider the source. His results don't even
qualify him to carry Crit Pros jockstrap let alone yours.

please don't use the "cycling ability gives you credibility" line of
reasoning, at least not on rbr, that belongs to pappy and kunich.

Right - being able to ride faster than someone else means that you're
smarter than they are.

Gorilla Critter wrote:
Bill C wrote:
Carl Sundquist wrote:


That's weak.

That's a surprise how? Consider the source. His results don't even
qualify him to carry Crit Pros jockstrap let alone yours.
BIll C


hey pork chop, wipe the bbq sauce off your chin before you dis me.

Close, it was wing sauce last night and today it's going to be beer to
go with it while watching cars go in circles. Might even have to break
out some old Chet Atkins too.
Bill C

"amit" wrote in message

That's weak.

That's a surprise how? Consider the source. His results don't even
qualify him to carry Crit Pros jockstrap let alone yours.
BIll C

dumbass,

please don't use the "cycling ability gives you credibility" line of
reasoning, at least not on rbr, that belongs to pappy and kunich.


Dumbass,

I never got a pro license, specifically for the reason that this thread
exists.

If you're a sarcastic, non-riding, know-nothing, foul-mouthed twit like
Amit it gives you credibility.

-Ken