stocking (warning: boring)

Awhile ago I found out that tonight Tyler Farrar would be signing
autographs at a location a mile from my house. So as you might guess I
was excited! Here is the series of events that occurred this evening:

I take a full shower at 5pm, do my hair and put on all the makeup that
I have- 100% maximum effort.

I go outside and drive off into the full blown autumn windstorm we're
having.

I drive around and around for 20 minutes in the gusting rain because I
can't find the place, but I don't give up.

Eventually I find it and park 4 blocks away.

This is the part where this post could be interesting if this author
wasn't a record setting loser, but I am what I am so instead of doing
anything interesting I go and stand shivering in the rain across the
street at a bus stop, pretending to be waiting for a bus while I try
to peer through the window at T.F. and all the normal happy looking
people who have come to meet him, because I'm too afraid to go inside
myself.

A bus pulls up forcing me to either leave or get on the bus, so I
leave and drive off sad and unfulfilled.

At home I feel a strange urge to broadcast my failure to the safe,
understanding and ever caring audience of rbr.
Tyler looked friendly and nice, at least from across the street..

h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.

In article ,
heather wrote:

Awhile ago I found out that tonight Tyler Farrar would be signing
autographs at a location a mile from my house. So as you might guess I
was excited! Here is the series of events that occurred this evening:

I take a full shower at 5pm, do my hair and put on all the makeup that
I have- 100% maximum effort.

I go outside and drive off into the full blown autumn windstorm we're
having.

I drive around and around for 20 minutes in the gusting rain because I
can't find the place, but I don't give up.

Eventually I find it and park 4 blocks away.

This is the part where this post could be interesting if this author
wasn't a record setting loser, but I am what I am so instead of doing
anything interesting I go and stand shivering in the rain across the
street at a bus stop, pretending to be waiting for a bus while I try
to peer through the window at T.F. and all the normal happy looking
people who have come to meet him, because I'm too afraid to go inside
myself.

A bus pulls up forcing me to either leave or get on the bus, so I
leave and drive off sad and unfulfilled.

At home I feel a strange urge to broadcast my failure to the safe,
understanding and ever caring audience of rbr.
Tyler looked friendly and nice, at least from across the street..

h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.

Wow.

--
tanx,
Howard

Caught playing safe
It's a bored game

remove YOUR SHOES to reply, ok?

On Nov 18, 10:56*pm, heather wrote:

h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.

Speaking of stockers, we need more Healthy Choice
Pudding Cups in aisle 8, some weaselly dude just
bought all of them.

On Nov 18, 8:56*pm, heather wrote:
Awhile ago I found out that tonight Tyler Farrar would be signing
autographs at a location a mile from my house. So as you might guess I
was excited! Here is the series of events that occurred this evening:

I take a full shower at 5pm, do my hair and put on all the makeup that
I have- 100% maximum effort.

I go outside and drive off into the full blown autumn windstorm we're
having.

I drive around and around for 20 minutes in the gusting rain because I
can't find the place, but I don't give up.

Eventually I find it and park 4 blocks away.

This is the part where this post could be interesting if this author
wasn't a record setting loser, but I am what I am so instead of doing
anything interesting I go and stand shivering in the rain across the
street at a bus stop, pretending to be waiting for a bus while I try
to peer through the window at T.F. and all the normal happy looking
people who have come to meet him, because I'm too afraid to go inside
myself.

A bus pulls up forcing me to either leave or get on the bus, so I
leave and drive off sad and unfulfilled.

At home I feel a strange urge to broadcast my failure to the safe,
understanding and ever caring audience of rbr.
Tyler looked friendly and nice, at least from across the street..

h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.

Wait, you're standing on the outside peering in at the
normal people? Which ones? They have gone out in
a windstorm to a Tyler Farrar autograph signing.
I mean, no offense to Tyler Farrar, but he isn't quite
at the Michael Jordan level yet. The truth is, those
people are no more normal than you are. They are
just a little more willing to come in out of the rain.

HH, you need a little extra motivation. Some people would
give you an uplifting talk about believing in yourself and
all that, but I'll spare you, plus who believes all that flimflam
anyway. That's for shiny happy people. Rather, I believe
in finding motivation in potential shame. So the next time
something like this comes up, you have to tell people in
advance that you're going to it. Tell your friends. If you
don't think you have any friends, tell the misbegotten
losers of RBR. (We don't have any friends either.)

The important thing is to tell enough people so that, once you
are on the doorstep and the little voice is telling you not to go
in, you _have_ to go in because your friends (or your RBR
"friends") are going to ask about it tomorrow. You need the
potential shame of admitting you chickened out to outweigh
the fear of engagement.

This shaming business is also a good way to motivate oneself
to do stupid things like leave the house at 6 in the morning
to go pay $20 to shiver at a start line and ride through mud and
wet and carry a perfectly good bicycle up hill. When it would
be easier to stay in bed, the shame of backing out on what you
told people you would do provides the motivation to get out.
And yes, I have done this.

So next time, I want to hear about your Farrar obsession
_before_ the event, damnit.

Ben
RBR Motivational Speaker

h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.

And a knew hi four people that ewes the wrong word four another.

On Nov 19, 12:45*am, Anton Berlin wrote:
h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.

And a knew hi four people that ewes the wrong word four another.

Dumbass,

h did nothing wrong. Well, not in her post.

-rj

heather wrote:
[stocking episode snipped]

That you would want us to know this is disquieting.

On Nov 19, 1:45*am, Anton Berlin wrote:
h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.

And a knew hi four people that ewes the wrong word four another.

newb

R

On Nov 19, 8:22*am, RicodJour wrote:
On Nov 19, 1:45*am, Anton Berlin wrote:

h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.

And a knew hi four people that ewes the wrong word four another.

newb

R

Dumbass I was talking about me setting the new record. Anyone that's
been here a month knows all about stockers.

On Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:45:29 -0800 (PST), Anton Berlin
wrote:


h, setting a new low for stockers everywhere.

And a knew hi four people that ewes the wrong word four another.

And this is gnus to whom?

I'll spot you two ewes and raise ewe a gnu gnu.

Curtis L. Russell
Odenton, MD (USA)
Just someone on two wheels...